ONCE...snowing and -17C

I'm here again..almost 2 weeks already. This time I traveled light as my colleague told me (before he returned to Kiev) that it's still 15c. Sick of getting my luggage lock broke, I brought 1 hand-carry luggage with my notebook bag. Things I bring (including the one 1 wear tht day):

1. 1 long-sleeve shirt
2. 1 black pant
3. 1 jeans (501 of course)
4. 1 short
5. 2 short-sleeve round-neck t-shirts
6. 2 short-sleeve collared t-shirts
7. 1 long-sleeve round-neck t-shirt
8. 1 sweater
9. 1 sport jacket (malaysian one..not for winter)
10. 3 pairs of socks
11. 10 briefs (dun wanna buy again)
12. 1 pair of black shoe
13. 1 pair of sport shoe
14. 1 pair of winter glove (bought in mar 2009)
15. 1 winter hat (kgb style bought in mar as well)

In front of my apartment..1st winter jacket

Felt the coldness in Schipol and I put on my sweater and jacket. In Borispol, I'm freezing in the bus to the terminal and while waiting for the car ! Lucky the apartment has central heater. My colleague here told me that the temperature just drop a day before I arrived. And the day I arrived, it's snowing. Kinda bringing them the possibility of having white Christmas hehehe..

After futsal ngan sorang melayu ngalahkan mat saleh pakai short tgh2 snow..

My friend sold me one of his long-john and the next day, at 2C..I can't stand it anymore and bought my first (and only i guess) winter jacket. On sale now so got it cheap. There weather also made wanna quite smoking as it is freaking cold. It was -10C on Mon, and I don't dare to freeze my fingers just to puff 'em. But yesterday was bad ! :( I walked out from home and didn't feel as cold..my fingers seems okey. I thought I've acclimatized well..so I bought a new pack. Apparently, it was -4C yesterday..but today it's -17C !!!

Snow gettin thicker..survived with my winter coat & shoes

Owh, another stuff that helped me survive, my first (and only again) winter shoe which i bought on Sun. Before lunch I asked my colleague here for souvenir shops nearby as to go to Kreshatik would be quite far. There's one at the Metro station, but he didn't offer to go there with me at all. He normally would go lunch with me..so I guess he don't wanna walk 15 minutes in that weather. So, I walked there..and really challenging with the winds...sun helps a bit. Can't really feel the warmness but seeing it kinda gave me warmth. On the way back, had lunch at the pizza restaurant..had salmon steak and americano then head back to office.

One thing for sure when I return home..is to have nasi lemak and teh tarik...and KFC (err this one has been long overdue..b4 i came here..and here of course..not halal..)...can't wait to be home...

ONCE...empty ?

Had dinner last nite when suddenly two men asked me to join their table...looks like tabligh guys..me with my short hehe..and true enough, they started their pitch and i just nod the entire conversation...he admitted that nodding may not be positive..but i just reserved my comments..

At one point he asked me, "what's in your heart now ? because when I observed you, you look like full of emptiness"...and i just laugh my heart out...is it really appear on my face ? or is it because i'm really not thinking about anything...

For some reason, I know that He planned for us to meet..just what move shall i make ? To go outing, seems like not in my favor at all...i believed there are many ways to reach that one path...perhaps, i should share my thoughts with him when i see him again...perhaps he'll call to ask me to join them...let see how it goes...

"Ya Allah, Kau permudahkanlah urusan mereka, tingkatkan kesabaran serta ketabahan mereka, berikan mereke kesihatan dan hidayah serta kesempurnaan dalam mengerjakan tanggungjawab mereka. Amin."

ONCE...32nd !

Alhamdulillah...meningkat dan harapan membawa kepada kebaikan. Berkat doa rakan2 dan keluarga, moga tabah menjalani hidup yang penuh pancaroba ini. Syukurku kepadaMu ya Allah kerana memberikan aku nikmat kesihatan, akal fikiran serta ketabahan dan kesabaran dalam menempuhi liku-liku hidup ini.

ONCE...in Sandakan

First time in Sandakan and I'm having problem to sleep. Dunno why. Isn't because of blunder that I made on Monday ? Partly I guess.

Sometimes, I don't know what exactly should I do. Should I stay on as requested ? Should I move on as expected ? Or should I just let Him give what best for me ? I can't just leave all to Him without making any efforts right ?

Sometimes, people wonder how I remains strong (or appear strong to me). Sometimes, I also wonder how do I managed to remain calms and appear as strong. Because sometimes, it really hits me. Felt like I can't bear it anymore. Can't bear to hear, to see, to feel and to think. But when I refused to hear, refused to see, ignore the feelings and shut my mind to think...it came back from nowhere and suddenly erupted my mind altogether. And most of the time, it turned out really ugly. For most of the time, I've to heal myself.

Perhaps, Allah really give me this kind of strength. That I can shutdown that part when it comes to serious matter which requires my full attention and concentration. Alhamdulillah.

words of wisdom from my latest book that I grabbed at KLIA "How The Mighty Fall by Jim Collins"

"Whether you prevail or fail, endure or die, depends more on what you do to yourself than on what the world does to you." -Jim Collins-

ONCE...syahdu

Pagi ini kerje aku bermula agak awal..mungkin terlalu awal. Kemudian, mesyuarat silih berganti. Namun, aku semacam puas. Sepertinya, sudah lama aku tidak mencerna minda untuk berfikir pantas, menjana idea dgn rakus serta menyampaikannya dengan semangat. Sudah agak lama minda ini tidak dicabar dengan bantahan-bantahan berkualiti.

Malam ku berakhir lewat. Namun, aku puas kerana selesai apa yang ingin diselesaikan hari ini. Dikala aku mula merasa sedikit gembira melayan kerenah kenalan baru, aku ditempelak seakan bermotifkan suka. Dan dikala aku memujuk hati kerana ditempelak sedemikian, hatiku memujuk sayu dirinya sendiri. Akan peranan aku untuk menceriakan. Umpama lilin yang membakar dirinya, agar insan lain bisa nikmati cahaya.

Dan dikesyahduan malam yang sepi ini. Merenung ke langit yang indah ciptaan Tuhan. Rasa hamba dan rendah menyedari dimana letaknya diri ini. Letaknya diri ini dalam situasi yang memilukan. Rendahnya diri ini disisiNya.

Maka apakah harus aku membiarkan diri ini pilu dalam drama ini ? Atau apakah aku harus persetankan semuanya ? Atau mengikut sahaja caturanNya dan berserah padaNya ?

Nukilan dan hakcipta terpelihara - NMD 14 Oct 2009

ONCE...full steam ahead !!!

Had a good meeting this morning...and all of us has to be in full gear. It'll start to be aggressive and perhaps hectic as well. It shall be an interesting new beginning...

ONCE...black Monday ?

It was quite a challenging Mon I must say. Being attacked from the beginning..almost everything I say has to be attacked first before rational kicks-in. Dunno what really hit me...why..? Few people noticed it.

Shared with my boss on the situation and the advice among other things was to bear with it. Increase the threshold, be patience and I will not be left there alone. On one angle, kinda overwhelm with the recognition and acknowledgement on my skills and capabilities to handle such a delicate project. On another angle, kinda sad as I can't pursue the area that I might be able to perform better. For now, need to collect myself back..plan properly and execute accordingly.

And as I'm about to collect myself, I got food poisoning and headache !!! Collapse the whole night and Tue as well. Missed Cradle's open house :( And when everything seems to be alright this morning, something 'bad' happen just 5 minutes before I reached office. Damn !!! Oh well..just bear with it...