ONCE...working with foreigners

This is not the first time that I involved in a project that includes foreigners. I've been working with Indian, French, Italian, Dutch, American, South African, Thais, Indonesians, and Koreans. But those involvement not as intense as the one I'm handling now.

I must say that this is the first international-like project that I'm handling in the big scale (>RM20m) for 14 months. Todate, I've been dealing with 8 Koreans altogether. The difference can be seen whether they've experience working internationally or just in Korea. No doubt their work attitude is much better than some (or most ?) of us, but they would also need to adapt to our environment soonest possible.

Recently, I have some trying moment with the Project Leader. He must understand that even though they have reached developed state status, they have develop and use the system for the past 10 years, we are not that bad in terms of software development methodology and experiences. Probably bad for him that this particular PM is from technical background..and has not lost his sense of software development just yet.

I hope they're professional enough (i.e. not so emotional..even though he did demonstrate that he's bit emotional..), and continue working for the best of the project. Am full gear for the good of the project, for the best interest of my company...and for betterment of future generations thru this project.

ONCE...Gridiron Gang

I've seen this movie few times this week. Twice in the middle...not knowing what the story is all about. Just knew that it's about winning and motivation (thru American football). It's only on Tue that I got the chance to enjoy the movie from the very beginning.

It's based on true story at Camp Kilpatric, a juvenile detention camp where all these kids from the neighbourhood being given second chance. The system doesn't work. When they go out, they either go back to jail or died on the streets. So, The Rock put them together in a football team...to make them a better person. No more losers...but winners. Somebody that matters ! Well, you can find it all here. Check out the trailer here.

What's interesting to me was, how the American can be open and giving a chance to all these kids for a better life. They did odd jobs i.e. robbery, murder, drug-dealers, etc...to survive...to live...to have some money for the family. That's the only thing that they can do because lack of education (could be lack of interest to study as well...but that's not the point am trying to make here). But still, some people believed in second chance...going for the better...to ensure better future for these kids. And, as we can see from the movie...it did!

I'm just wondering...in our country...in our culture...as a Muslim...do we really embody such spirit and believe ? Or for us..or rather most of us..."you yourself need to change...world can't change you unless you wanna change". Question is...how receptive are we when these people trying to change ? Perception..negative impression..all within us. We don't believed that they can make it ! We don't believed that they will change for the better ! We are so hypocrits !

...to be continued...

ONCE...life is great !

Lots of things happen. At work (from my latest post in Jan), things move positively. Work improving. Got assignment (where i can develop further) from big boss himself. But nevertheless, to some people who don't understand why me (from PMU) need to be in an opportunity meeting with the big boss. Anyway, am doing it for the company.

Election is coming and it's interesting to read the reports in the paper. Sometimes I wonder, why do this people really bother in politics in the first place. Is it a genuine intention and motivation ? Or was it just for power and money ? One thing for sure, in politics (regardless of which party), politic is dirty ! Once in politic, whether you like it or not, you have to play the game. It's tough and long to change the mindset and gameplay.

Everything that happen...happen for a reason. Allah the Almighty wants us to learn the lesson. Hope I manage to learn the correct lesson...

ONCE...internal politics ?!

Since late Dec last year, my project has become a hotstuff. People out of nowhere suddenly appear to show great concerns on the potential risk and paranoia due to their few bad experiences.

Generalizing on all customers and partners which I think not right. The bad experiences they had might come from their doing as well...as what I can see going on into my project currently. Or perhaps...that's how they can show their superiority and heroeness. Creating chaos, high risks and potential exposures...then giving and implementing few ideas/mechanisms/processes/systems to put everything back on track blablabla.

To me, these people are suddenly aware that it is such a big project (RM 23m) and just me managing it ?!!

"Are we out of our mind ?"...

"Are we going to let that new guy who is not proven to take all those credit in implementing the project all by himself alone ?!!"...

"We got to do something..."

And so it all started...(btw, those are just my scepticalism). My boss (to my surprise i guess) was also jittery and start acting like them. Putting people because such project magnitute would require more people otherwise customer would not believe that we're taking this project seriously. Anyway, I took all her advise with positive thinking...and play along with the game that they wanted. So, I'm practically seems like a puppet.

But today, I lost my composure. I know the effect of the email that I sent. But it was just sooo damn irritating to me. For dunno what reasons, my views and inputs were not valued at all. I just had enough playing the game and being me (of not wanting to show me doing work) has bitten me now. My boss perceived that I had not being proactive enough in doing my work.

Hmmm...it's challenging. With new MD coming since 2nd Jan, things moved to the direction that I hoped (errm...from the top i mean). Internally, he'd have tough time implementing it. And looking at the people that involved in my project..."please God save the company !". I'd few chats with him and doing what I find really interesting and challenging as well. That give me strength to swallow all those &#$#@ that comes from those @*#($&#*.

Anyway...Happy New Year :D (just realized...I haven't think of my resolution this year...)

ONCE...my wife's turn...

Yesterday was my wife's 30th birthday. Though I have not give her any present yet (in the process of delivery), she gave one priceless gift to us all. My son was born at 11.15 morning yesterday :D Am babysitting both of them currently at the hospital. Will post the pictures once I'm home and have my abundance bandwidth to play with.

ONCE...am 30 !

Alhamdulillah...am 30 as of yesterday. It shall be a new beginning for me. For a better me. Not only me as a PM, an employee, a crazy-part-timer and a friend...but more importantly me as a husband, father and son. And of course, as His servant.

One thing for sure, I don't have my normal 5 years plan now. What do I wanna be ? Where do I wanna go ? What do I chase for ? What do I target to ? What do I aim at ? Where am I heading ? For whom does all these to ?

Serious thinking need to be done. Soul searching ? Perhaps. 'Please ya Allah...guide me in my quest...amin'

p/s: Thank you dear for organizing the suprise this morning :D Beautiful indeed... luv ya !

ONCE...my new PC !!!

Finally ! I've received my new PC set, optimized for gaming & multimedia purposes. Lemme share the specs with y'll :

• Intel E2140 1.60 GHz
• 3 GB DDR2 RAM
• 160 GB SATA HDD
• NVidia GeForce 8500 GT
• Logitech Mouse & Keyboard
• VS2141 Altec Lansing
• 20" Samsung SyncMaster 203B

Thanks to Lan, I just spend RM2.5k at Imbi. Otherwise, I'd be spending close to RM 3k plus. Thanks Man. Now...just installed Empire Earth..but gotta reboot cause of those Windows update thingy. Later, will install the WoW (but I dunno whether I'd be able to have a feel to try it out tonite...) ... we'll see ;-)

ONCE...scenery photos (with technology)

Just playing around with MS Office Picture Manager. One cool feature that it has is you can compress the picture for document or for web (as I did for previous post). It reduces the size superbly and still maintain the quality (at least from my naked eyes). And just found another cool features (but may not applicable to all); Auto Correct. It automatically correct the pictures that I load. Some gave superb results (as showed below and you can compare with the previous post), but some really out (dun wanna waste my time posting crap here).

ONCE...scenery photos

During raya at Kedah, somehow I found the skies was so beautiful. Excited with the new camera that my wife bought, I put my hidden talent in action. (Put off earlier to put it here because I would need to find a place to store the pictures, only to find out that Blogger has cool features that allows you to upload the pictures on the post immediately. Cool haa !)

ONCE...it has been 2 years !!!

I just realized that it has been 2 years and 27 days this blog has been active ! Started on the 4th Oct 2005 (on Ramadhan's eve..missed the terawih at the mosque), and today is already 20th of Syawal.

Time flies by...so fast. Sherman shared with me last Friday that he felt as if just yesterday was 2006 (or does he said 1996). That's how fast time flies. And in 11 days, my numbers will change. Hmmm...hope, am for the better (O Allah, please guide me...amin).

ONCE...back on gaming !

As part of my role in looking after the game project in TeAM, I need to be updated with the trend and technology. They gaved me World of Warcraft to research on. It is the best MMORPG in the world currently. I'm very excited !!!

But first, I need to get myself a proper game PC. The specs shall be able to support multimedia design and game programming as well. Am planning to explore on that area, really exciting. This peoples work on the design is superb. Am really impressed and I can visualize the story being played. Can't wait to see it happening.

I got some specs from Subang Parade. Then, asked Mun's advice (as he's an avid gamers as well) on the specs & price...also seeked Lan's advice. Lan told me not to buy any but rather follow him to IMBI where he'll advice on the best of all items (bits and pieces) , that will suit my objectives beautifully. Budgetted around RM 3k. Planned to sort those out by this weekend.

Can't wait to start exploring hehehe...will install all my long-lost games in there as well. Anyway, I'll try my utmost best to discipline myself in this game-research-work thing. Am afraid myself on how addicted (and crazy) I'm back then...

ONCE...work is great (?)

Had my review session with my boss last week. All went well. I know the fact that some colleague were asking the partner on what's happening with the project. Indicating that the project was not progressed at all, and asked them to push me to get it move.

Kinda funny because they're not involved in the project. Am still can't digest why they did that. And this afternoon, we're discussing on contract terms and target for signing next week. Then, we chat. All of the sudden, he came ! And start giving his lame excuse of his not important thus the partner don't wanna see him, only wanna see the PM. Following that, he start asking me about the status of the project. In his serious face ! What ? Do I report to you ?!!

Anyway, being polite...I shared the status. Everything is fine, works in progress, etc. Then, he start asking the partner about some pricing cos he needs to see where he can pull the budget from and stuff like that. I just let it be as I'm doing all those. If he wanna do it (or are doing it now), unless he updates me, I won't bother to act on it. It shall be under PM's hands and it's in good hand. Customer are fully aware of where we are and where we are heading.

I do feel bored with this shitty politics, wanna show that somebody is really doing the work..or rather (as he usually quote to me) "seing" doing the work, "seing" busy. I believed more in results. Of course efforts means alot as well, but you just do your work as you supposed to. Whether people sees it or not, I couldn't care less. As long as am happy doing the work, customer is happy, management is happy with the progress and end results...all those #$&%@ (whatever name/title it is for such attitude) can just GO TO hmm...wherever best for them ;-)

ONCE...my daughter fold...

Last Friday, I picked up my wife & kids at my in-law's house. It's quite late, my wife & son slept already. My daughter still active running ups and downs. My wife asked her to pack and clean all the mess that she made (kinda being scold as well as she has asked her to do it for quite some time).

What amazed me (and made me proud :D) was, she folded her clothes ! Not only that, her brother's as well. Surely my wife guided her well. I'm blessed :D

ONCE...me on EL ?

My PT shared with me last nite, that last Friday, my boss asked her why I took EL. I'm not sure whether she's angry or worried. After I analyze further, then I think I know why she's like that.

I'm not the type that like to take leave for nothing. Normally, with very solid reason. Last Friday, I took EL without telling why. And a day before that, this happen and perhaps she thought that I took it really bad (or thinking that am looking for jobs ? hehehe). To make it worst, I didn't see her this week. Perhaps, a note for Selamat Hari Raya to her today...and hope all is fine when she come back to work.

ONCE...raya datang lagi...

Lagi 2 hari nak raya. Aku ucapkan selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin atas keceluparan kata, keterlanjuran perbuatan dan apa jua yg menyinggung hati dan perasaan, serta halalkan makan minum lihat cuit dengar rasa.

Semoga semua bergumbira di hari lebaran, baik di Malaysia mahupun yg diluar sana (Joe, ko balik ke tak ?). Berhati-hati dijalan raya...dan semoga berjumpa lagi.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA !!!

ONCE...hebatnya dugaan (day of great challenges) #2

So, my boss asked me to email her, telling the whole truth about what happen and the hindsight. She'll take it from there. To my disappointment further went I traced the system...my last submission was at 11.18 *sigh*. Well, I did admit my mistakes right...that's just another strong prove of that.

It's almost 3 when we finished. I went for my meeting. Just realized as I preparing this post, there's another disappointment while waiting for the team members to start the meeting. I arrived 5 minutes before the meeting, setup projector, slides, etc. First person came at 3.05. OK not that bad. The rest..? I have to called each one of them reminding about the meeting and asking whether they're coming or not. To me like...WTF ?!!! Why don't they just be aware of their meeting, when and where ?! Why does it everytime we need to call and remind ?! Ergh !!!!

My meeting started 20 minutes late. It went well I must say. Conclude an hour later. I wanna rush to Dynasty Hotel to get a copy of the floor plan from LP. But, Dr Sulaiman told me that he's already on his way to Putrajaya and he forgotted to leave the copy at Dynasty. I told him I'll collect it at Putrajaya the next day. Settled !

4.45 I've packed, prayed and moved out from office. Need to rush to Darby Park for TeAM's meeting, where I will present the game plan for NGEP. Federal highway jammed like normal. I believed my fuel can still last me at least until Petronas Bangsar. However, right in-front of EPF, my car died. Tried to restart but failed as well. So, I used all my power to push the car to the side (forgot: my car was at the fast lane). Heavy man ! Suddenly it became very light and easy, someone assisted me at the back (thanks man !). Me being engine-no-expert guy, dunno what to do. Called Lan to ask him any ideas on what could be wrong ? Lastly, I decided, leave the car (it was packed in-front till MidVally and back which I dunno where it might started) and go to Darby Park in public transport.

I believed it's be hell to get a taxi at that time. Saw RapidKL bus to CM (yeay !!!). As I line-up, then I realized that I only have RM 50 notes (arghh !!!). I frozed, so I let the guy behind me to go first. Coins also not enough. Then I realized my TnGo and it can be used in the bus !!! Really a convenience TnGo I must say.

LRT to Ampang Park, it was 6.30 by then. I settled my Citibank first, and am lucky that Alliance Bank was just in the neighbourhood as well. So 2 done ! 2 to go ! Arrived at Cradle's office at 6.45. Meeting started, no problem :D until 8.30. Johan shared with me normally the authority will tow the car. Obsructing traffic. And I didn't leave my number on the dashboard ! I wanna pray to Him but somehow kinda ashamed. But, had to pray and asked His assistance. No choice what !

My presentation started at 8.45, went well. Matt shared an idea on the insentive. Johan asked about conflict of interest. Can't be declared internally, but I'll do the work after office hours. Then Chris told me, "come and work for me lah...and you can do NGEP full time". "And still get the pay ?" I asked. "That can be arranged" he replied. Hehehe...what a generous offer. I thanked everybody for that, and shared what happened to me in the office and finally being offered like that, I'm very flattered and it does make my day.

And I thought Chris was joking. After the meeting, while waiting for Lan to fetch me, I had a drink with Chris & Dr Siva. And they all kinda started selling about the co to me. I never think of moving from MB and looking at all the MB's outfits that I've and planning to buy, MB in my heart man. Anyway, out of politeness, I said I'll think about it. Just nice after that, Lan arrived.

Thank God ! At 10.30 pm my car was still there hehehe ! He called his bro-in-law. Oh..my battery died as well because hazard light took lots of power. Waited for the battery, pomen coming. Few tontos were waiting at the bus stop trying to get some business from me. When the battery came, I thought "yes !" but instead "oh no..!". The car can't be started. While the pomen trying here and there, Lan arrived with RM 4 petrol. Put it in, still can't start. So, I went with Lan to get more petrol..and with various type of bottles, manage to get RM 8 petrol. Put it in, start then chaos. I asked why ? The pomen didn't manage to secure himself (tak sempat) from the fuel coming from the engine. Lucky didn't hit his eyes. Put everything in place back...and my engine roamed again :D. Alhamdulillah ! The moral of the story was, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CAR WITH EMPTY FUEL...REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE INDICATOR SAYS !

Pack everything, then went for a drink with the team. Thank you guys, really appreciate all the help. Arrived home at 4 am and shared everything with my wife during sahur. Really challenging ! My patience was tested to the fullest ! My faith was tested as well ! But at the end, I really really thankful to Him for all the tests and results because every test is to bring us to the next level. He will not test you unless you're capable of handling it !

ONCE...hebatnya dugaan (day of great challenges) #1

4th Oct was full of colors for me. From morning till night. My fuel level is quite alarming already, but to maintain my reputation of being at least 5 minutes early for my meeting, I decided to refuel at Putrajaya. Went to office just to print the EOT letter.

Arrived as planned (with good parking spot as well). Then, I saw all the team members at the lobby. Waiting for their transport ?! They're going for site visit to tenderers' premises for ISP tender. I don't feel good already because they didn't inform me. The meeting might be cancelled and I may not have to rush. However, they said PD is in the office. I went up and aeida mentioned that PD is in a meeting. But his PA told me that PD asked me to wait for him.

So oklah, I waited till 10.30. Just the 2 of us ! It was very cordial..he joked, we laughed..he even "aku-kau" with me. Kinda strange for a person who used to be very hard on me in the beginning. Anyway, meeting went well. Objectives achieved; finalized the DB design so can start create the DB next week, and signed the EOT letter indicating agreement to extend the handover date. I felt good ! Mission accomplished !

This started went wrong after that. Back in the office at noon, got respond from my GM disapproving my request for ITSQB training. Eventhough my justification is for the good of company (and the nation), and that our internal SW Dev team dees not have influencing and authority level over the Koreans, he does not agree with me. Asked me to withdraw !

As I'm speculating on how to respond (believe me..it sounded very nasty), my boss called to see me. It's about the ISP tender, "all fingers are point at us", she said. I admitted that it's all my fault and I'm very aware of why it happened that day. But to maintain my relationship with Jai (yeah...the typical malay side of me..shoot !), I don't want to disclose that. I'm being over-confident, perfectionist and ego (perhaps), I didn't asked his help to speed up the process. My assumption (yeah..yeah..I know !) was since we're kinda winning tean in ICMS, we should have same understanding already. But, my alter ego who don't want to question me, caused me dearly.

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ONCE...22nd day of Ramadhan

7 more nights to go before we all break fast with joy with the coming Aidil Fitri. This should be the time where we increase our prayers, spend more time at night performing qiamullail searching for the wonderful night of Lailatul Qadar. That is what we should all do, spiritually.

It's also a trend here that this is the time where lots of break fast invitation packing up. I used to look forward for those, but not anymore. Reason being:

1. I don't eat that much now
2. With little food also I tend to gain weight, what more lots of them (with all those dessert ?!! man !)
3. There's not much bonding or rapport building to be created perse. People just concentrate eating !
4. Me become a bit anti-social (?)
5. Somehow, my marketing pitch and eagerness has lessen (?)
6. The place is too far :D

However, some invitations are very difficult to turn down. Some was initiated by me :D. Anyway, first Ramadhan in MB brings lots of memories to me. One thing that I really missed being a CTO once, the luxury of time that I can manage and own. Well, beggers can't be choosers aye ;-).

ONCE...not good !

Last week was the most intense moment in my work life in MB. I've a DB review with MOHE on 12th Sept, then 13th Sept tender due for MOHE ISP implementation and kickoff meeting on 14th Sept (my baby project). The tender is huge and I estimated our unit's cost alone would be around RM 2m. And since I've did kinda the same thing (and won as well) for LP, am kinda very confident that I can do it after the DB review.

I started at 10.30 pm at the office (after terawih). Based on what I know what to do, I am very confident that I can deliver everything by 6 am or 8 am the most. But then, I was loaded with all SOW from various solution components to be incorporated in my Implementation Strategy document. The worst part of it, not all was there. One still in PDF format, one in different document and another is totally wrong version. To make it worst, not all are following our standard document formatting.

So, still looking up on me, I just do it. Believing that I can still pull this all together. Just conclude all the SOW after sahur (that 1 hour plus break don't really help at all). Had to head home to send the kids & wife, then be back at the office at 8 am on 13th Sept. Man, am telling you...how I survive driving from SA to office. Prayed hard actually.

Well, it's first day of Puasa. No caffeine available. And that really hit hard on me. As I'm concentrating on the doc, I realized that I dozed off unintentionally. My schedule is only ready by 10 am. Then, compliance tables, then pricing etc. Din leaved me around 11 am with all info gathered. I was relieved, believing that I've did it again. Jai slept after sahur till around 9 something.

I moved back to my place. To drive home, am scared. Afraid can't make it, so I went to Zam's place and take a nap there (for 2 hours :D). Then, I started looking at my slides, get everything prepared for the kickoff; get the projector, prepare the handouts, rehearse the presentation. And then Sales Director asked me to brief on the location and agenda. So I went up to spare some time with her. After all that only I head home.

Aiyah..forgot ! The main point of this post; after I woke up, I called Din to see how it goes. We were late :(. The officer still took the docs, but stamp as late. Not sure whether it'll be considered or not. I felt bad already.

That night the whole family went to the mosque. I can't survive till the end, so after 8th I came down (thought that my wife would think the same, but no). So, I slept in the car. Around 10 pm Man called asking about the preparation for the kickoff. I told him what has been prepared so he's assured that everything are in order. Then he asked me, "..what happen ah ? Ko tertido eh ?" I've decided in the afternoon that even though other parties may also contribute to this, but I just take all the blame lah. So, I explained to him that it's alot of things to be done, with some not according to the format, and no caffeine made me dozed off unintentionally which damage the whole thing. I apologized to him.

What surprised me again was on Monday (17th), Murn asked me what happened ? Then I know that words has spread. Dunno who la. I told her the same stuff that I told Man. And she said that Man didn't mention that we were late to Zue. Hmm...would really spoilt my reputation with Zue (i think) because the kickoff was very good. She even congratulate me (err..not sure for what) and wish me good luck with the project.

So now, with LP, I'll be locked there for 2 years. Just need to finish off MOHE by Oct, and SCOPE before end of the year, am sure there would be no more tender exercise for me. *sigh* Nevertheless, I am strong believer of things happen for a reason. Allah knew what best for me and how to give that lessons to me. And I thank Him for that..syukur alhamdulillah.

ONCE...my own broadband !

Yeehoo !!! Got my streamyx connected today !!! 1.5 mbps gua cakap lu heheheh. It's all done in one week (kudos to Telekom..i must say..). Register for my phone line and streamyx on Tuesday, phone connected on Wed (activated on Thu morning though) and my streamyx activated today !

Now I can update my blog more often :D...post my work from home, maintain TeAM website and other R&D stuffs...all from the comfort of my home. Anyway, the cable is a bit short, can pull it to my study room yet. Gotta buy longer cable (today!).

To add to this whole madness, I just arrived home at 4.30 just now. Immediately perform my prayers followed with sahur. And then, here I am. Thinking of catchingup with my sleep afterwards, but my wife bising since I don't want to sleep first but eagerly wanna be connected. Hope I'll survive for shopping later.

ONCE...life is great !

It's coming to 9th month for me in MB. It's wonderful now because the project that I've been waiting for has come. Started early this month. And to make it even sweeter (or some said "worst!"), was assigned on one so-called "simple" project a week before my baby project came.

The project that I'm currently managing is coming to an end. However, the ministry issued one big tender where the outcome from my project will be the core component in that tender. So, I was roped in to assist (provide necessary info). Before I know it (hmm...kinda expected it as well...or rather wants it hehehe), I was assigned to work on the tender proposal.

Coming fasting month, planning to put in internet connection so that I can work from home. There'll be less (if not none) activity at night (means, my normal activities), so have to carik pahala lebih this month. Am really thankful to be part of MB...for both the good and the bad.

ONCE...turning 6th...

It's our 6th anniversary today ! Didn't realized it's that long already. Of course there's highs and lows, sweet and sours...but we're still heading strong. Some people say, first 3 years for you to know your partner better. Some says, great challenges will come every 6 years. Dunno whether it's true or not. But of course challenges do come. As and when they like. So it's really up to us to use our knowledge, experienes and wisdom to best handle it.

So honey, Happy Anniversary :D !

ONCE...moved officially (really one !)

I would say, yesterday really official that we moved to our new house. Everything brought in already, my wife done with our room, me done with my study room, kitchen all ok, hall, dining and all. Can say it's a home now :-).

On Saturday, we bought few furnitures. By noon I'm home to allow the guys to repair our doors. Only after 6 hours of working they came and told me that the door was wrong ?! It's bigger...so need to wait for few more weeks. As for me, am dying sleepy and really can dozed-off easily but then, who would monitor them ? So I've no choice but to watch the vcd. And when the furnitures are in, my rocking chair really rocks !!!

The kids loves their room, my wife love it as well...and I love them all.

ONCE...moved !!!

Still tired, but relief. Yesterday load almost all things from PA and unload at SA. My wife arrived at 9pm...she brought some food and surprisingly (despite my diet conscious) I managed to finished it all. She was also surprised. We went back at 12 midnight, few curtains was up just that the sliding's curtains was a bit odd. The owner put a half-circle thingy on top of the sliding and the curtain reel was on top of it. So the sliding curtain was like hanging, need to look for colorful shades to block the bottom part of it.

When we arrived at in-laws house, felt very tired. But Bruce was on TV !!! Armageddon on air !!! Took a shower in the middle, and fight my eyes till it finished. Then, I woke up at 12 noon. Whole body is aching, my head was heavy. Went out to buy stuffs at 1 something, spent about 2 hours shopping...the longest I've ever spent on shopping (as far as I can remember laa). Arrived at our new house around 4. Start unpacking, so kitchen now ok. Cleaned up the back area, garden, my room, hall and dining. I wanted to stay there already, but as mom-in-law not around so kinda not nice. So, we'll be staying for a while at in-laws, maybe Wed or Thu officially move in to our new house...and start living there.

For now, I haven't look at the cashflow impact yet (monthly), to be added with broadband and astro (and dunno what else..yet..). Whatever it is...it's turning point I believe. Thank GOD :D.

ONCE...moving house

Finally (thank God) we managed to find a nice house in SA, near to my daughter's school, easy access to highway and nearer to my wife's bus stop. I'll have my study room that I can really utilized (I do have one in PA..but since PA is more like our retreat, and the TV is just outside of the room..not really helpful am telling ya), lower ground and it'll be far from TV and bed, am sure that I can study (for my PMP) and do my readings or work peacefully. Near to kitchen so I can refresh my coffee as and when I like.

My kids are excited, so does my wife and of course meself. But definitely I need to make some adjustments. Can't stay back more than 6 pm at the office (can come back at 9 if need to...especially if I don't have internet access at home). External activites will need to be adjusted as well.

Nevertheless, I hope and pray that this move (hijrah) will bring better life to all of us.

ONCE...going professional

Last Wednesday, am representing my boss for 3rd Annual Mastering IT Project Mgmt at Sheraton. So, I dressed up for the occation (not up to my required std, but what to do..last minute thinking...really need to polish back the 99% preparation for 1% inspiration thingy). And my colleague also kinda escorting me and introducing me to the organizers as VIP (hehehe..), so have to do my sales talk then lor.

I treasure the opportunity given (VIP ticket only for half a day, but I sat till end of day) and gather lots of useful info and tips. It also motivates me further to be certified as Project Mgmt Professional (PMP). Best part of it (as I'm not sure whether my experiences are enough), as I updated my experiences sheet from 2000 till now, I'm qualified ! Yeahoo !!! Planning to take the exam by end of the year or to be exact, after I close MOHE project properly. That will surely add on my experience qualification.

So now...have to start reading...and practising...and reading...and practising...and...and...and...

ONCE...interesting quote from House

I was at home and happen to watch House. Don't remember exactly which episode, but it's about House and his ex-gf, Stacy. They had lived together for 5 years before breaking-up and Stacy married to (can't remember his name..let's just say Bob).

Stacy suspected that Bob has some problems and asked House to check on him, but Bob strongly believes that he's healthty. So, with some dirty-tricks by House, Bob hospitalized. Then..bla..bla..bla...An old friend told House that Stacy still thinking about him, and when House tried to tell Stacy about what the old friend think, she was upset. Then, bla..bla..bla..the husband was cured (well of course because of House craziness).

The thing is, finally she admitted to House..something like this if I can remember very the correctly one.."..it has always be you. I can't forget about you..you're always the one. But, I can't be with you..." There's more to it, but I just like that phrase. It's ironic to know that someone who's so in-love and we're the perfect match but at the end (due to whatever differences or situational occurance), can't be together. Kinda silly also isn't it ?

ONCE...one more leaving...

One more PM resigned. One of the Sales mgr mentioned to me that he's the model of an ideal PM. He got the Service Excellent award last year. And he resigned. So, the headcount has reduced and few people need to take over his projects.

My GM & Mgr has briefly me told me the project that they want me to take over. The project is straigh-forward infra upgrade and enhancement, however, we're dealing with difficult people (where the heck is my book on Dealing with Difficult People *sigh*). The people seems to creating lots of fuss and digging for mistakes from our side. It sure will be very challenging for me...and of course, that'll be very exciting ;-).

ONCE...crazily jam at PLUS

On my way back from Kedah yesterday. Took-of at 3.30pm and only arrive in SA at 12 midnight ! Jammed before the tunnel, then before Ipoh toll, and again exit Ipoh toll, and worst from Slim River all the way to Rawang. Road construction, people cutting queue, running on the emergency lane, man..!!!

I think what they should hv done is not widening the road (hopefully it can REALLY be ready for festive seasons). Because the bottlenecks are there, at all the toll booths, all exits and all R&Rs. They should have increase the toll 50%-100% so that nobody would want to use the highway. But then (rational started to kicks-in), it's govt's obligation. Equal access to all! Wish that I've a Batmobile that can fit 5 people comfortably so that I can bypass the jam (as now I need to fix my car on dunnowhat motorboat-like sound that it gave).

Anyway..thank you God for safe journey home.

ONCE...missed it !

Shoot ! Missed my May deadline. Trying to post at least once a month, but *sigh*. To say work is the reason, not really. There are times when I felt like "err..what to do ah ?". Kinda done all the things that I planned to do for the day..then try to plan for next, but sometimes, there's nothing to plan. Or rather, some dependencies which are beyond my control.

To blog during the day kinda segan. But then I saw CKY blog. But his blog kinda professionally done on work related stuff. Well, mine can be work related also la ha ?

1st May, I'm recruited as permanent. Life get's more exciting (kinda feel good with financially-secure status). Start improving my life, my health, my time with family (believe me dear..am trying very hard). Certain extend can say more on ME. But, I think, as the breadwinner, I need to make sure that I'm healthy and cool. I don't want to let my family go thru the hassle again. Really painful am telling you.

Anyway, am now a lead PM (took over from one that resign) for a project. The most challenging project here. Have lost 4 ppl todate, kinda cursed hahaha. When I told my boss about the cursed, she goes "..ko nak kena lempang..". hehehe...Even though that's not the project that I'd prefer to take, but I'll do my best. (since CKY knows my blog now..need to be bit careful on what i said about the co..hahaha..no heart feeling CKY).

So, this post is pretty much because I dunno what else to do before am heading to the gym. Guess, that's all for now. Will try to update it more frequent (as one of my fav reader has complaint about it 2 months ago).

28/3 my 100th day in office

Tried to mark it here on the date...but so the busy one. Lots of things happen; challenges, excitement and painful experiences todate. Learnt lots of things...how big company do business, structured processes, segregation of work, team building (can read politics...nah...rapport building i'd say better).

When i joined in, i was given the biggest project ever in MB, 23 modules with GIS components...very the challenging one. Learnt a lot from Mac, very the dedicated and process oriented. Strong and vocal as well. Can say that i swing well with other colleagues, with few unexpected act during workshop and orientation...hehehe...sometimes just wondered how did i do it.

Then i involved in my first tender exercise...kinda fun. But not my full swing, not really up to my standard. After that, am assigned with another project as post-sales SA cum co-PM, to be mentored by a senior (my friend oso la) but turned-out i was expected to get him to the process by my boss hahaha. Now, am having 2 projects running...and best of all the tender that i did was shortlisted and we're technically no 1 yeahoo !!! Now, busy preparing the slides for this coming presentation.

still long way to go...lots of things to catch up...and learn...and be the best among the best in MB.

ONCE...first nite out

Yesterday and today is my first nite out in MB. Since 12 noon yesterday, till about 9 this morning. Feeling like a zombie a bit. Then my GM asked "why are you wearing like that ?!!". Am wearing my Amsterdam t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. At first i wanna joke as he's walking away, but then he turned back and ask again...so he's serious! "Tender since yesterday..". Then only he walked away nodding.

It's great experiences. Learnt alot about the new processes, new schemes, all the write-ups...and also friends' behaviour under pressure. About noon I reached home and trying to get a sound sleep. But received call here and there still. Managed to get 2 good hours. Think that should be enough for now.

ONCE...cinta

Finally, i managed to finish up Cinta. I'd say it's the first malay movie that made me errm...having teary eyes. I was touched when Lis started to cry and telling papa that she wanna come with him. Such a young age but great talent (where the heck did they manage to find such talent...after all this year..?!!), real and original tears coming from her. And for God knows reason, i got teary eyes.

But that's nothing compared to the scene where Dhani got to know about his sister's fate. His screaming was nothing..but when the white umbrella appeared, i was so ............. my eyes, my lips (well..u know honey) and my heart...

One word flashed on my mind at that time..."...ayah...".

ONCE...perihal lalang

Lalang dalam perumpamaan melayu menjurus kepada insan yang tidak tetap pendirian. Kekanan ditiup angin, kekanan lah ia. Kekiri kalu, maka kekiri pulak la dia.

Semalam aku terbaca artikel dlm Mingguan Wanita (2-8 Feb) dlm ruangan Setitis Embun (pg 57). Sebuah pandangan yang amat menarik mengenai "lalang". Lalang seperti sifatnya amat sukar untuk dibasmi. Kalu dipotong, dia cuma pendek dan akan panjang dlm masa yg singkat. Bertiuplah angin sekencang mana, dia cume akan tunduk mengikut kehendak angin. Akan tetapi, tidak dia berganjak dari tempatnya. Pokok mungkin tumbang, rumah mungkin roboh tetapi lalang tetap teguh didasarnya.

Hanya satu cara untuk menghapuskan lalang. Bongkar akarnya, punahkan dasarnya, bakar daunnya, dan buang abunya kelaut. Sebagai org Islam, dasar kita harus kukuh, tidak berganjak walau bagaimana sekalipun dunia berubah. Peredaran zaman diikuti, modernisasi perlu untuk maju tetapi nilai dan dasar Islam harus tegus bertapak. Seperti lalang...

ONCE...on SiS

Last friday i received an article talking about SiS's agenda for 2007. Fighting poligamy on the ticket of womens' rights, human rights, equality, etc. So, the article is talking about this people being educated abroad, exposed to western cultures and stuff, thus carrying those values to fight for feminisme which is against what is already in Al-Quran.

Simply put, are they trying to say that what Allah said is not good for them, for the people, for the women ? SiS's points among others are family institution failed because of poligamy, childrens left unattended or abused or not taken care of, social problems (teenagers) because of failure in family institution as the father married more than one. There are so many other reasons why those things happen and there are also many cases where big family (poligamy) have good, solid and successful childrens..living in harmony some more.

I'm not trying to discuss this in great details as i need to run for meeting now. But, what am thinking to do is to setup an NGO for poligamist. Membership open for poligamist and poligamist-wanna-be. Success stories will be published, tips and guidance from successful poligamist to poligamist-wanna-be to ensure a strong, solid and good family institution uphold despite being poligamist. Nice or not ? :D

signing off...

ONCE...feels like writing

I really wanna post something (a lot actually). But then, i don't know where to start. So many topics to discuss here...but, there are elements of confidentiality, sensitivity and extreme would be suicidal ! The thing is, when i have the idea and the points, i just compose it on my mind. Then, "waa..good good..mesti gempak punya.." after that, continue my work. Then, there's no internet connection, no time to go online (not even to turn on my notebook) and when i really have all the means (like now)..."what to write ah ?".

hmm...seems like coming already...so i signed off here first..checkout my next post ;)

ONCE...kata-kata hikmat

Kata-kata nih datang dari Dr Fadilah Kamsah dlm satu ceramah la...

"Seorang lelaki normal, pasti ada keinginan untuk beristeri dua. Dua perkara saje yg menjadi penentu; mampu dan berani. Ada lelaki yang mampu, tapi tak berani. Ada lelaki yang berani, tapi tak mampu..jenih ni ramai. So, dia akan jadi bila lelaki tu ada dua2 (mampu dan berani).

Sekiranya lelaki itu tidak ada langsung keinginan untuk beristeri dua, maka dia bukan lelaki yang normal"

hehehe...aku mesti la nak jadik lelaki normal..so kena ada keinginan la kan hehehe..jgn marah dear :D

ONCE...syukur lagi..

Pagi tadi aku gi amik Offer Letter from AKPK. Aku settlekan sume yg patut2 (i.e. stem hasil, cop pesuruhjaya sumpah and all) and submit it back. First payment before 30th Jan. Lega..sempat la kirenya masuk gaji dulu.

Then, MOSTI called, asking whether i've submitted my claim for EIF honorarium. Isi borang tuh pastu nanti depa arrange to pick-up. Alhamdulilah..rezeki lagi. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Kaya dan Maha Pemurah :)...(Ya Allah..janganlah kau lalaikan aku dlm nikmatmu..amin).

ONCE...syukur

Alhamdulillah...tanggal 18 Disember secara rasminya aku memulakan kerja baru di MB. Dan barulah hari ini aku berpeluang untuk memblog hehehe. Aku ditugaskan sbg CTD (Chief Tech Director) for a project. Kinda GIS related stuffs. Baru raise PN last week. Dari mula lagi memang challenging..but i'm cool :D.

Gathering useful infos, both formal and informal, internal and external, openly and secretly...makes the whole scheme very interesting.

Hah cite syukur nih..1 minggu sebelum aku start kerje tuh..rezeki cukup murah. Dpt few payments, dan niat aku utk buat korban pun dimakbulkan. Pagi sebelum semayang tuh Ust Mokhtar kata bukak lagi. Ptg tuh cargas jek gi amik satu bhgn.

Sebelum masuk kerja plak, aku beli kasut sama belt baru. Imej kasi kaw2. And semalam pakai baju baru (plg gah yg aku penah beli kut..). Haa yg best lagi...last week of Dec '06. Aku gi meeting kat tempat client. And my zip failed me !!! Nasib baik la Plaza Damas tuh shopping complex and my dearie baru pulangkan duit yg dia pinjam..so the first boutique that I saw (Orlando). Budak tuh kata "encik, ni new arrival.." Layan.."tlg alter sekarang ye..saya nak pakai sekarang". Dpt la aku suar mahal Orlando (tak ponah boli suar semahal tuh..ni tgh dok berangan nak beli Dockers plak..gilo RM200 sehelai..tak tau la cukup gilo ko tak nak boli 2 helai nih heheh..)

So gitu la adanya...

ONCE...kebesaran-Nya

Segalanya bermula pada hari Isnin. Dikejutkan dgn berita kematian Pak Long (suami babysitter) Isnin pagi. Aku singgah la sekejap, hadiahkan Fatihah..dan kemudian bergegas utk interview di Sri Hartamas. Alhamdulillah segalanya berjalan lancar. Siap diwar2kan utk tunggakan sekali. Apapun, tunggu je la cek kat tangan..tak perlu berangan.

Mengkala jadual kerja aku amat fleksibel (ikut suka aku!), maka aku la yg kena jaga anak2 Selasa dan Rabu. Tapi Rabu 1/2 day je la..ada meeting di TMRD. Dan syukur lagi, Selasa pagi MB offer. Agreed on the package, need to confirm to report duty on 16th Dec. Maka kena la gi opis, jumpa LC. Redha dia dgn berita yg aku bawak. Tapi, ptg tuh panjang jugak la sembang ngan dia. Asking me to not to let go my shares. I'll think about it..

Dan t/hari tadi, aku gi amik letter of offer dari MB. Bakal termeterailah satu pengembaraan baru untuk aku. Dan balik dari Jumaat, gatal gi singgah Subang Parade, termasuk lak dlm MPH...dan terbelilah akan saya sebuah buku bertajuk "Project Management" from McGraw-Hill Professional Education Series.

"Ya Allah...janganlah Engkau lalaikan aku dalam nikmat-Mu. Bimbinglah aku kejalan yang Engkau redhai..amin."

ONCE...more Malaysian's animation

Check out another good quality animation works by Malaysian here. Expected to be completed by end of 2007, it shall be a hit !

I've downloaded the sneak peaks and man !!! Such details on the greens..expressions..dusts.. Love it when Malaysian team up and work together and deliver what Dreamworks or Pixar people has produced all this while. Yet, this team delivers it in much much tiny budget compared to them. I hope and pray they'll succeed.

To all Malaysians especially the rich ones..come and contribute (i.e. invest or sponsor or give). Make it a success. Together !

ONCE...keletah anakku

Scene : Dalam kereta, balik dari amik ubat dan beli burger.
Waktu : Sabtu malam

   Daughter   : pokok dia minum ayaq ujan...
   Me             : pokok makan apa ?
   Daughter   : pokok tak makan...
   Me             : pokok cucuk butt tak ? (means : berak)
   Daughter   : tak...
   Me             : kenapa ?
   Daughter   : sebab dia takde toilet bowl...
   Me             : hahahahaha....

ONCE...Gubra

Hari Sabtu lepas aku baru berpeluang utk menonton Gubra bersama isteri tercinta. Asalnya aku nih buleh kata amatla teruja utk menonton Gubra selepas menonton Sepet satu ketika dahulu. Namun, setelah suku pertama cerita tersebut, aku terasa mual2 dan meloya utk meneruskan pertontonan.

Mana mungkin seorg rakyat Malaysia (tak kira bangsa ! cuma dlm Gubra, ia adalah lelaki Cina) berjalan sesuka hati tanpa baju di hospital (melainkan dia pesakit mental). Apatah lagi, dia bukannya pesakit ! Dan mana mungkin seorg gadis/wanita Melayu akan dengan selamba badaknya membuangkan bulu didada seorang lelaki yg baru saja dikenalinya beberapa minit yg lalu. Sementalah filem ini digembar-gemburkan sebagai mencerminkan budaya Malaysia ! Maka itulah yg membuatkan saya mesti memblog mengenai Gubra.

Penceritaan hubungan berlainan kaum tidak menjadi masalah pada saya. Tetapi adegan memualkan di hospital dimana Orked membuang bulu di dada Alan itu yg tidak manis. Itu bukan budaya rakyat Malaysia dan semestinya bukan budaya MELAYU !!! Itu mungkin budaya Yasmin, atau dia terpandang sekali atau dua dan saya percaya kalau adapun cume dibandar besar yg rakyat Melayunya telah diperbaratkan. Akan tetapi, ianya tidak mungkin menggambarkan walau 0.01% budaya rakyat Malaysia.

Cerita dlm Gubra tidak menggambarkan budaya Malaysia seluruhnya. Maka tidak wajar ianya diwar2kan sbg perintis filem yg mempamer/mencemarkan budaya Malaysia. Tidak dinafikan terdapat pengajaran di penghujung cerita. Cuma jika org yg mual dan loya di pertengahan cerita tidak sanggup meneruskannya, rugilah org itu dan rugi jugalah Yasmin dlm menyampaikan ceritanya secara menyeluruh.

Apakah dlm kita ingin mengglobalkan wayang kita, kita perlu membudayakan apa yg ada dibarat atau dinegara lain? Apakah kerana rasa kekitaan pada masyarakat asinglah yg membolehkan filem2 Yasmin mendapat pengiktirafan diluar negara ? Dlm mematangkan pemikiran rakyat Malaysia dlm filem melayu, apakah kita perlu melihat maksud tersirat dlm filem tersebut walaupun yg tersuratnya cukup menjijikkan, terpesong jauh dari budaya biasa masyarakat setempat ? Atau mungkin cara penggembar-gemburan filem itu yg mengundang kemarahan (talking about market positioning) ?

Aku hampir memboikot filem2 Yasmin selepas Gubra, tetapi rasanya elok dinilai filem2 yg akan datang sebelum membuat kesimpulan tentang pemikiran dan budaya Yasmin. Mokhsen...nantikanlah...

7 Lessons From Japanese Business Culture

This article was posted in Promuda's Discussion Group.

After reading it, I can say that the culture is not too far from the Malay. Not the modern one though (i.e. city-type Malay culture), but the traditional one. The one that we can still see in villages, old folks..away from the cities.

Malacca was once, known throughout the world. Malay merchants were prosperous. The thing is, is there any research done on their business traits and culture that we as Malay especially can be proud of and use it profusely instead of looking for others to adapt ? It's not that I'm against the article. It's good that we learn from others, take and adapt the good part of it for our benefits..but my curiousity is how about ours ?

ONCE...pasal berkawan

Bila lepak kat lab, antara salah satu topik yg hangat dibincangkan adalah pasal berkawan. Perbezaan antara kawan dan sahabat. Bagaimana utk mengenal kawan/sahabat. Dan setelah kenal sikap, sifat dan perangai kawan dan masing2 boleh terima kekurangan dan kelemahan yg lain, maka insya-Allah lamalah persahabatan itu.

Aku teringatkan ayat2 yg aku selalu terlepas bila sembang ngan foo. Mungkin sebab dia mmg tak penah amik ati (atau dia mmg terer simpan dari aku) yg membuatkan aku pun tak tahu dimana batasnya. Perkara ni mmg selalu aku alami dan semacam aku tak pernah belajar.

Setiap kali aku berkawan rapat, pastinya akan ada insiden yg mencemarkan persahabatan tersebut. Sepatutnya, disitulah yg akan membuatkan kita lebih kenal kawan/sahabat kita. Tetapi selalunya yg terjadi, aku dikeluarkan terus dari database mereka. Mana yg tidak, terus menjadi sahabat hingga kini.

Aku cuba belajar. Dgn client, long-lost junior, kawan2 baru yg lain. Hatiku berdetik "..jaga2 sikit cakap tu..kita tak tau diorang buleh terima ke tidak..". Tapi kalu tidak diuji, kita takkan tahu. Jadi kalu mahu menjadikan sahabat, harus tau dimana batas2nya. Perlu tau dimana marahnya, dimana sukanya, dimana dukanya, dimana halusnya, dimana warasnya dan dimana sanggupnya. Dan pastinya utk mengenal kawan, perlukan masa yg lama. Tidak mungkin sehari dua ataupun 3-4 bulan. Mungkin makan tahun.

Dlm keadaan aku sekarang, bolehlah utk dikenalpasti dgn lebih dlm lagi. Siapa kawan masa senang, siapa kawan masa susah, siapa kawan masa suka, siapa kawan masa duka, siapa kawan boleh berahsia, siapa kawan utk berseloka, siapa kawan utk berbicara, siapa kawan utk meluah rasa, siapa kawan utk didengar jua, siapa kawan utk dikenang saje.

Pada rakan taulan, kawan-kawan dan sahabat, Selamat Hari Raya dan mohon maaf atas tersalah kata, terkasar bahasa, terkurang ajar dan terlanjur perbuatan. Serta halalkan mana yg termakan dan terminum. Semoga bahgia di Hari Lebaran.

ONCE...5 hari nak raya !

Raya kali ini sungguh bermakna buat aku dan keluarga. Emm...lebih2 lagi buat aku la. Raya kali ini cukup sederhana. Terharu jugak bila mama bagi baju raya..dan tak kurang jugak terpikir cam nak rasa terhina atau rendah diri bila baba cakap pasal fakir miskin. Tapi, aku rasa tak perlulah. Selama ni pun aku makan minum kat umah tu, dia gak yg bayar. Satu sen pun aku tak kuar. Dan mmg betul pun, redha je lah.

Namun aku bersyukur. Ujian ini harapnya membuatkan aku lebih berhati2 berbelanja. Ujian ini juga membolehkan aku menilai nilai RM vs rakan/kawan/sahabat. Mmg perit ujian ni, tapi Allah takkan menurunkan sesuatu ujian itu kepada hambaNya melainkan Dia tahu hambaNya itu mampu menghadapinya. Dan semestinya Dia Maha Mengetahui ! Cuma kita jgn mudah putus asa dan putus harapan. Usaha mesti diteruskan.

Berkat usaha dan doa, dan juga barakah bulan Ramadhan, aku temui beberapa jalan yg dgn izinNya jua, boleh merungkai permasalahan ekonomi dan kewangan yg aku hadapi sekarang. Untuk memastikan aku mendapatkannya, aku akan berusaha lebih lagi..dan kemudian, serahkan segala-galanya atas ketentuan Dia yg Maha Esa.

Salam Aidilfitri untuk semua. Maaf zahir dan batin. Selamat beraya di rantauan Joe (maaf aku tak dpt antar kuih raya).

ONCE...an opportunity

A friend of mine sent me this 20 Smart Companies to Start Now. As I scroll down the article, something made my eyes gleaned as I read this:

Text Ads on the Fly
The Investor: Charles Moldow, venture partner, Foundation Capital
What his firm's backed: CarsDirect.com, Netflix, Simply Hired
What he wants now:: Text-messaging software that allows local merchants to send offers to mobile phones. Some companies already do this in basic form; Moldow's idea would give merchants more control. "This is bringing the blue-light special to your phone," he says. Five or so people could write the code; a sales demon is also needed to enlist merchants. Prove that you can pull this off in one city and Moldow will listen to an expansion plan.
What he'll invest: $5 million for working technology

Just sent him desktopSMS BC's brochure and user manual as well as my sales pitch (so-to-speak). Well, we'll never know what would happen. Has mixed feeling currently. Anyhow, efforts made..now continue prayers (and more efforts of course).

ONCE...1st interview

This morning was my first interview session. 1st in 7 years ! Hahaha...kinda nervous also. But, I guess it went smooth. If any hickups maybe because of min salary expected. Post for IT Exec for PMO. There's 7 candidates, one of them is internal people. Promotion la kirenya. So, 6 ppl for potentially another vacancy (or perhaps it's formality for the internal people only). But, I think there's 2 potential candidate (that can be a threat to me); one from PNB and another from Time. Well, just hope (and pray of course).

After prayer, got an email from Brunei. Said that they're processing my application and asking for testimonials and my expected package. Have asked few close friends to send their testimonials to them. Well, wait and see how it goes.

ONCE...my old camp diaries

Weekend in my hometown, browsing through the bookshelf I saw my 2 camp diaries. "How did they get here ?". I think I kept it somewhere else. So, I took it out and flipping thru the pages. I found a sheet of paper (maybe one of those camp assignment or something)..and best of all, my 15 years old passport sized photo. Hahahaa...can't really imagine that I was..errmm..that young and slim (and naive also).

These diaries are not the normal ordinary diaries. It started with my first mountain, Ledang in 1993. As my wife said, "too detail !"..hehehe...she must be bored to death with the details inside them. Well, every stop i put it there. So, some it may be hours difference, or by minutes.

The diaries extended from Ledang to every single camping that I went until my time in Kembara. But, not sure whether ITM's camps were in those diaries or different one. However, I've stopped writing the diaries towards my seniority in Kembara. And suddenly, my memory flashed back to the Nuang scene. Nuang has 2 most memorable incidents to me.

No 1 when I took my coursemate and junior, that's where I really find out who's who my real friend. Friend that can reason or not. No doubt I have my part on it, but there's so many better ways to solve it. In a more gentleman style I would say.

The second was with juniors. Before that, the first one got my gf-to-be (who's my dearie wife now) and the second got my gf-wanna-be. (it does make me wonder, in my naive look, same boots everyday, simple dress code, yet attract so many girls..well..many that I know..many that I don't then..which I know now..hehehe..). The juniors exp was a bit dark. It almost cost a few lifes. Alhamdulillah, they survived.

How I missed the greens. Smell of the jungle, the leaves, grass, mud, river..sound of crickets, mosquitos and river flow. It has been almost 6 years since my last camp or hike. Wonder when can I hike again...hmm...

ONCE...life, money can't buy !

Arm called before break-fast sharing with me on an opportunity with quite a lucrative deal. So good to be true and damn hell difficult to resist. Roughly; >RM10k net with 30% goes to my wife & 20% to Tabung Haji. But, that's not all. The best part was: they'll settle all my debts !!! So, that we don't have any worries while doing the work.

So, I met him last nite to know more. Especially, what's the catch (there's no free lunch bro !). So, here's the catch: 24 x 7 operations, shift working hours, however, after ur shift, u're on standby mode..response time in 2 hours ! And response time here is not like our standard SLA; response = phone call at least. This one is in the office within 2 hours after the call ! Crazy eh ?!

Meaning; no raya, no balik kg, no shopping, no holiday, no leisure, nothing !!! My instinct before going there was right. Whoever take the job, will become a highly paid slave. Of course, the argument, it's the same kinda job that we do. Late nights, weekends and sometimes during holidays. But, at least to me, I'm in control over my life. Not dictated by someone or something. All the packages are to make you obliged, and setting ur target on the carrots. Ohh..forgot to mentioned. It's was for a f*****ng 5 YEARS contract !

Nah, I'm not going to waste my life like that. 3 years in Dubai would still be ok ;). Right Joe ? (weh..bila daa.. )

ONCE...Ramadhan datang lagi

Alhamdulillah..ramadhan datang lagi...datang dengan penuh rahmat dan keberkatan. Aku baru je pegi deliver sistem yg aku jual kat 1st customer. Training skali...siap ada customization lagi. Jadi, mungkin ada rezeki lebih sikit nanti.

Syukur lagi...di bulan mulia ini. Aku sampaikan salam ramadhan kat bro joe di dubai. Dan tetiba je dia tanya pasal anak aku ada berapa org...berapa tahun. Aku ingatkan dia nak belikan hadiah baju raya ke...Ropenya, ada peluang kat sana. So, nak tau aku akan bawa diorang or camne. Perh..excited mmg la kan. But, he gave me till Thursday. Bini aku plak suruh balik semayang dulu. But, rata2nya redha la.

"Berilah petunjuk pada hamba mu ini ya-Allah." -amin-

ONCE...close encounter with a COBRA !

Foo turunkan aku tepi jalan, lepas balik dari semayang Jumaat. Sambil jalan aku kalut-kalut sikit la simpan hp sume. Pastu, aku toleh la kanan..kat kaki lima tu. Guess what ?!! Cobra tgh panggung kepala dia !!!

Syukur alhamdulillah..sebab masa aku perasan tu kire dah lepas dia dah. So, dia pun sambung jalan balik. Aku pun ingat nak ambik gambar dia. Sekali lagi, kalut-kalut nak adjust camera phone aku..pastu nak cantik kena ambik dekat sikit. Dia tgh sibuk jalan kat kaki lima tu la. Pastu, timbul lak risau. Dibuatnya dia toleh belakang pastu terus terkam aku, dah tak pasal. So, aku pun jalan balik ofis.

Itulah pengalaman pertama aku jumpa ular tedung (rone itam) selain drpd dlm zoo. Panjang dia ada dlm 2 kaki setengah, besar 3 jari camtu. (sorry joe, i know it'll be better if i put the photo here..but it's a risk i dare not take after that close escapee). Jarak antara dia ngan aku masa tu cuma sekaki. Syukurlah..panjang lagi umur aku.

ONCE...food for thoughts

Be blind in the race for educational excellence.

I was told that we need to be in the system to change the system. Simply put, we need to be in the government. Best, in the ruling party of the government. But to do that, I'll be bloody long time. Tears, sweat & blood spills in the wake to change and improve the system. Whether we will survive in the system, whether we will succeed in changing the system will depend on how influencial we are, how tough and stubborn we are as well. Shall we touch the soft spot and place the right sentiments to the system, I believe we can succeed.

Should I be in the system ? Still debating...if I want to, then first need to register with a party. But, as I wanna be the 8th or the 10th, I must join now and build my credibility and success stories. Or shall I create new party where I'll be the president with new agenda that will be supported by everybody ? Then, perhaps I can be in the premier much faster.

ONCE...ala sedihnya...

Punya la banyak bende yg boleh dibuat, yg boleh dipikirkan tetapi org kite membuang masa dengan sia-sia dgn menunggu suara pontianak. Kenapa tidak bekerja, mengaji, membaca buku, mentelaah ilmu atau menghambakan diri kepada Allah ? Jgn la nak dibandingkan dgn bebudak rempit atau anak muda yg terkinja-kinja dlm pub atau disco. Kenapa perlu menyamakan diri sendiri dgn manusia lain yg sama rendah akidahnya ?

Apakah kerana terlalu aman Malaysia ini sehinggakan rakyat tak tahu menilai apa yg berfaedah utk dibuangkan masa mereka ? Haruskah kita ada sedikit huru-hara dan bencana utk sedar ? Tetapi, pastinya, kesedaran sekelip mata. Haruskah kita terasa tercabar, tercalar, terhina utk bangkit memartabatkan bangsa ? Lihat sahaja sejauh mana isu Melayu hina di Penang. Masih lagi masyarakat mencari pontianak ?!

Harus siapa lagi yg perlu dipersalahkan ? Bangsa lain ? Bukankah itu semacam kita merayu kepada mereka supaya jgn ditindas kita ini ? Atau berhidung tinggi mengingatkan mereka supaya jgn berkurang ajar, melebih-lebih memijak kepala ? Mereka ini cukup masak dgn tabiat org Melayu. Spt yg ditarbiyahkan oleh seorg imam di kampung, "org melayu ni, asal ada makan je cukup!" Cukup mudah nak jaga Melayu. Sekadar bagi makan, habis sekampung mau dibaginya kepada bangsa lain kerana terhutang budi atau terkilan jasa. Makan perlukan duit ? Maka dijual tanah pusaka sekangkang kera supaya dpt makan dan bergaya. Drpd menjadi org Kaya felda selamanya, mereka menjadi org Kaya felda seketika. Matlamat pemimpin Melayu tidak kesampaian.

Ketika berduit tidak beringat. Tidak dibantu Melayu lain yg memerlukan. Duit berjuta2 di bank, gaji berpuluh kalau tak beratus ribu sebulan, kenapa tidak dibantu Melayu yg ingin belajar berniaga. Bank mahukan cagaran, Melayu tak pandai menulis kertas kerja utk geran...atau ada yg pandai tetapi malas atau rungsingkan keselamatan. Harus bila lagi Melayu bisa memecahkan pegangan kaum lain dlm perniagaan ?

Dlm era global, bagaimana pula Melayu Islam boleh memecahkan dominasi Yahudi dan Nasrani ? Dlm bidang ekonomi, sains dan teknologi, politik ketenteraan dan sebagainya ? Atau apakah mesti Arab Islam yg mengembalikan kegemilangan Islam ? Bagaimanakah dan bilakah Melayu akan kembali gah dimata dunia seperti suatu ketika...di Melaka...

ONCE...well said

Aku cuma nak pastikan artikel ni ada dlm blog aku. Jadi akan datang nak carik senang.

Ekonomi asas ummah merdeka

ONCE...good start

Tengahari tadi gi amik cek. First, payment for NDC..alhamdulilah, syukur. First customer, and a very good paymaster heheh...So, next week buleh buat payment utk sample modem dari Lithuania, register domain, create website dan go all out to market.

Semestinya semangat berkobar2. Maka, user manual pun disiapkan menjelang Maghrib tadi. Antar kat Lithuania satu sebab diorang nak tgk and maybe promote to some other market as well. Kat Joe satu, kalu2 org Arab and/or Afrika pun nak pakai. Dan jugak kat rakan-niaga yg lain yg telah menunjukkan minat utk memasarkan produk tu.

Dan baru je 1/2 jam lepas, aku dpt siapkan draf pertama untuk brosur (brochure) 2 muka (buleh la nak print depan blakang nanti). Printout nye memang nampak cantik la (printed on HP Color Laserjet 5550).

Lepas nih, antara lain, nak siapkan kertas kerja untuk InnoFund. Geran dari MOSTI, buleh la kalu nak dapat dalam RM 50k. Apply untuk buat yg Inter-active punya pulak. Mudah-mudahan...berjaya !

ONCE...5th anniversary

Syukur alhamdulillah..dah masuk 5 tahun perkahwinan kami. Ni hadiah anniversary yg istewi aku kasik. Aku tak bagi lagipun hadiahnya..ingatkan malam ni la kut ( :D ).


Aku bersyukur dikurniakan istewi yg cukup baik dan melengkapi hidup aku (..you...complete me..and i can't...just...shut-up...just shut up..). 2 tahun ini betul2 menguji kami. Aku bersyukur kerana tersedar sebelum terlewat..sebelum nasi menjadi hangit..sebelum kek menjadi hangus...sebelum.....Aku bersyukur kerana istewiku tabah dan bersama2 ketika kami susah.

Semoga Allah memberkati kami selamanya. Dan semoga Allah tabahkan serta teguhkan kasih sayang kami dlm mengharungi ujian-ujian mendatang. Amin.

ONCE...apa nak jadi la ni...

K'jaan negeri guna dana khas bantu rakyat miskin utk tujuan lain. Cuba carik kat mana-mana akhbar perdana kalau2 ada artikel ni, tapi tak jumpa. Mungkin ini diekstrak dari laporan tersebut.

Lalu, apa perlu kita lakukan ? Haruskah kita membuang undi kepada pihak lain yg mungkin tidak tergamak utk menghaburkan duit org miskin ini pd pilihanraya akan datang ? Atau kita usulkan kepimpinan di cawangan/bahagian ditukar supaya org lain yg lebih telus, jujur dan amanah memimpin negeri ini ? Yang sedihnya, semua itu negeri2 Melayu majoriti. Sudah pasti yg miskin pun Melayu, yg tarah pun pemimpin Melayu. Lepas tuh, berkompang pasal nasib Melayu di Pulau Pinang dipinggirkan, teraniaya. <# ayat ini telah disensor kerana kurang sesuai utk kanak2 dibawah umur #>

10 tahun lagi, time aku bertanding, korang sokong2 la aku. Agenda:

* Hapuskan rakyat miskin dari bumi Malaysia (samada berikan bantuan dan kemudian diorang boleh hidup macam org lain, atau antar ke negara lain)
* Pendidikan percuma pada semua
* Program kesedaran (awareness) utk tingkatkan penyertaan bumiputera dlm bidang perniagaan (dan berjaya!)

UNDILAH SAYA !!!

ONCE...ansuran RM 20

Malukan Melayu kata beberapa org besar (Datuk2 belaka). Apa yg nak dimalukan ? Kalau malu pun..bagus la. Baru diorang terasa malu, dan akan bayar lebih dari RM20. Kalu betul la diorang tuh semua jadik golongan professional yg berjaya, langsaikan je terus.

Apa dah tak boleh buat "reverse phsycology" ke ? Takut sangat malu..takut org tahu. Taknak bukak pekung di dada. Biar busuk berulat asal org lain tak tau ?!!! Nak jaga sangat maruah peribadi tapi perangai macam ?@$*##. Habis, kalau masuk mahkamah kemudian kena penjara atau diisytiharkan bankrup kerana tidak mampu bayar...ataupun mahkamah jatuhkan hukuman bayar RM 15 sebulan (sebab itu je dia mampu daripada diisytiharkan bankrup)...apa tu nanti tak malu ke ?

ONCE...M'sia kalah takraw ?!!!

Kalah kat Thailand tu dah org panggil musuh tradisi la. Tak kita kalah, dia kalah. Macam pakat gilir-gilir pun ada kekadang tuh. Tapi bila kalah kat Indonesia ? Mungkin baru..setidaknya negara rumpun Melayu. Kiranya, diorang pun main takraw la jugak.

Tapi..!!! Apa ke kambingnya yg boleh kalah ngan Jepun ?!!! Ngan Myanmar ?!!! Pegi Bangkok tuh ingat nak enjoy ke ? Kalu nak dirasionalkan, buleh...takde masalah. Jepun byk duit, jadi dia boleh bayar lebih untuk mendapatkan jurulatih yg handal2 (aku tak tau detail nih...sapa jurulatih dia..player dia nama Raksoon ke, Tharib chai ke, Ahmad Latip ke...) atau menawarkan warganegara pada pemain (atau isteri supaya buleh dpt jadik warganegara cam mamat Brazil yg main ari tuh). Habis..Myanmar tu nak rasionalkan macammana ? Duit diorang bukannya byk sgt nak laburkan kat takraw nih !

Memang la Malaysia yg memperkenalkan takraw kepada dunia, tapi kita kan terer bab memperkenalkan, melancarkan, merasmikan, mehooraahkan. Kepanjangannya dan kejayaannya...kita tau la kan haa..

Mengabiskan duit rakyat je mangkuk2 yg main tuh. Daripada bola sepak, takraw, badminton...kalu nama ko tu Melayu la yg main...harapla nak naik tinggi2. Baik la duit banyak2 tuh, buat bagi biasiswa utk pelajaran ke. R&D ke. Kalau aku la yg jadik Menteri Belia dan Sukan, mau ramai atlet OKU kita nanti. huahuahua...

ONCE...imej apa yg ingin ditonjolkan ?

Apabila terbaca keratan ini. PM sanggup meminta maaf kepada rakyat ? Yang peliknya, di sini tidak pula menyatakan perihal meminta maaf. Utk perbincangan, kita lihat keratan ini.

Apakah tanggapan kita ? Ketika terbaca keratan tersebut, aku rasa Pak Lah tidak ego, sanggup terima kesalahan (jika benar) dan sanggup meminta maaf. Down to earth kata org putihnya. Tetapi, apakah org lain juga berpendapat sedemikian ?

Ketika aku menulis blog nih, tercetus persoalan...apakah perkara ini sepatutnya tidak harus terjadi. Pak Lah tidak harus (tidak boleh) tercicir dlm kenyataannya ? Jadi, tidak perlu meminta maaf. Apakah pula tanggapan kita ? Naif ? Ambil mudah ? Atau delegasi terlampau (unmonitored delegation) ?

Yang mana satu lebih rasional dan lebih wajar ? Kalau dibandingkan dengan PM terdahulu, bagaimana pula hasilnya ?

ONCE...kemana sudahnya ?

Apa yg boleh kita tafsirkan dari keratan ini ? Boleh dikatakan agak kasar (direct) berbanding dengan keratan yg lebih lembut ini.

Persoalan yg bermain-main diminda...kenapa mesti Tun ingin menurunkan tarafnya dari seorang bekas Presiden UMNO kepada perwakilan biasa perhimpunan agung ? Apakah benar ada cubaan utk menggagalkan permintaan beliau ? Kalau kita cuba renung dalam2...kemana sudahnya "perjuangan" Tun ini.

Katakan Tun berjaya menjadi perwakilan. Apakah yg ingin dibangkitkan ? Apakah Tun ingin menarah Pak Lah secara terbuka ? Dan apakah kemudiannya mencadangkan dirinya utk bertanding jawatan Presiden ? Katalah semuanya terjadi...menang pulak tuh. Maka secara otomatis, Tun menjadi Presiden BN yg layak utk menjawat jawatan sebagai PM Malaysia. Apakah Malaysia bersedia utk itu ? Apakah mandat besar yg dimenangi BN..yg mencerminkan sokongan rakyat kpd Pak Lah, akan merestui perkara ini terjadi ? Apakah pula impaknya kepada Malaysia dari segi ekonomi, FDI dan persepsi dunia ?

Apa agenda Tun sebenarnya...?!! Apakah peranan kita..?! Apakah pendapat kita..?! Apakah tindakan kita..?!

ONCE...lovebite

Hai...naya la nih...dah macam paparazzi kat Hollywood nih...lepas ni apa plak ? Siti tak berapa catwalk dah ? Dah tak seteguh dulu ? huahuahua...

ONCE...MLM wujudkan jutawan ?

Untuk renungan...di sini.

ONCE...idiots !

Especially for Joe who commented that my blog is dull (because no pictures). Well, this a start. It's from him anyway. He sent to me on 22 July 2003. But, I dunno whether the research still valid or has been proven otherwise. Enjoy...

ONCE...durex testers wanted !!!

Hey guys...there's a drive by durex to get comments from consumers on how can they improve their products better. Any takers ?!! Hehehehe...roll yourself here. (Saw it in newspaper yesterday)

ONCE...really, once a CTO!

Today, it's official that I'm no longer the CTO (that reminds me to change the header..).

I was so deep into the monitor with my stuffs only to found 2 stacks of my new call cards on the far left of my table. "When did that bugger put those cards on my table ? Didn't see her coming..and it's not on my table when I came this morning. hmm.."

On the new card, there's no more CTO. I'm now ED. My partner's idea last 2 months as we planned to go out and do sales. So, not sounded too techies. Well, now I can really claimed "once..a CTO"

ONCE...anakku..

Aku masuk bilik lebih kurang pukul 2 pagi. Anak pompuan aku tak tido lagi. Cam biasa, nampak aku masuk dia mesti pejam mata..."sebelum abi bising..baik aku cuba2 tido" agaknya itu yg dia pikir. Tapi, aku cium dia, bini aku ngan anak laki aku..pastu mandi....*long story short*.

Masa aku nak tido tuh, aku letak bantal peluk dia, letak satu lagi bantal kat belakang dia..pastu aku amik patung Barney tuh..main2kan kat muka dia..gigit2 tinga dia...pastu aku letak kat bahu dia. Next thing I noticed, she hold the Barney tight. Dia peluk Barney tuh..biasanya dia campak je la kan...oh...I'm touched !

Sian diorang..abi dia dok balik pagi jek semenjak 2-3 minggu nih. Sabarkan dan cekalkanlah hati mereka Ya Allah!

ONCE...wedding of the decade (who say?!)

Hahahaha...its not that I envy Datuk K or I hate Siti, just that for such a grande wedding supposed to be well-planned, well-organized and well-done turned out to be not that good. For the newly wed, maybe everything goes smooth, but I'm talking about those guests especially VVIPs.

Waiting for such a long time to get their table number, dinner served only at 10, cold dishes, soup & coffee. Worst of all, FREE SEATING !!! Imagine all those mak datin, artist friends that would definitely spent on best dress for the night, and suddenly, sit at the back of the hall ?!!

One may ask, "what is it for you that you make so much a fuss about all these things..". I'd say, money not well spent on wedding planner. Wedding planner of poor quality! Just pity those guys. Looked at papers and definitely there's none about the chaos. You can find it here, here and here.

Now, both bride & groom will get 'busy'..guess the journalist & papers can start consentrating on more serious topics which shall contribute to the country more than those glitzy outrages celebrity stories. Last note...last night I was really annoyed and iritated with ERA. And my car audio kinda stucked that I can't change to other channel. So...I turned off my audio har har har...(so the boring driving then..)

ONCE..."i look stupid.."

Last night while having our drinks while watching Chelsea vs Blackburn, I saw Amani coming with her bf (I guess as they're holding hands). They sat right behind us with bunch of their friends. Then, I noticed Lan was staring at her and them.

   Apa yg ko tengok tu ? (What are you staring at ?)
   Aku tgh tengok "I look stupid"..hahahaha.. (I'm staring at "i look stupid"..)

We laughed. Only when we're heading to the car that he told me that Amani might hv heard him. He saw the bf consoling her (rubbing her back), and she's kinda depressed..and the bf also gave this wtf look kinda thing. But I said, "what the heck do they wanna upset with ? we're just quoting what his gf said..isn't it ?" And we laughed again.

ONCE...nukilan tentang berniaga

Cemburu pulak tengok Munmon tulis BM. Ambil iktibar dari kes Amani, marila kita cuba2 berbahasa pulak.

Hari Rabu lepas, saya berpeluang utk duduk dlm panel penilaian teknikal utk salah satu geran (grant) yg disediakan oleh kerajaan. Tidak ramai yg disenaraipendekkan, kire cukup la jari2 kaki & tangan utk mengira. Majoriti yg membuat pembentangan adalah dari kaum Cina. India tiada langsung dan Melayu selebihnya (42%). Persoalan yg bermain benak kami ialah kemana perginya org Melayu nih. Kerajaan pimpinan Melayu, peluang2 perniagaan utk Melayu banyak, bantuan kewangan bercambah tetapi bila dinilai, tidak ramai yg sampai.

Berdasarkan pemerhatian saya, terdapat beberapa faktor yg menyumbang ke arah ini:

1. Kurang pendedahan dlm menyediakan kertas kerja
2. Kurang minat untuk berniaga (isu jaminan hidup)
3. Tidak berani mengambil risiko
4. Pemahaman dari pendidikan Islam yg tidak menyeluruh

Faktor 1 boleh diatas dgn membimbing para usahawan. Terdapat bermacam2 perkhidmatan yg disediakan baik dari pihak kerajaan mahupun NGO. Ia juga boleh diterapkan dgn lebih jitu dgn bermula dari awal iaitu ketika sekolah lagi. Langkah Kementerian Pelajaran utk menambahbaik kurikulum pelajaran amat tepat dan diharapkan elemen keusahawanan ini dpt diterapkan dgn jayanya.

Ini juga akan membantu mengatasi Faktor 2. Akan tetapi, faktor 2 & 3 lebih kepada pendedahan dan mentaliti. Kita disogok oleh ibubapa serta para senior supaya bekerja dgn kerajaan. "Terjamin" katanya. Memang betul terjamin kerana walaupun kita tidak bagus bekerja, tidak efektif, tidak produktif, tetapi hujung bulan kita terjamin. Cukup lah sekadar apa yg ada (yg membawa kepada faktor 4).

Tetapi, golongan ini jugalah yg menjalankan perniagaan MLM, direct-selling, jual kain, kuih raya, bazar ramadhan dsb. Tidakkah itu menunjukkan masyarakat Melayu berdaya maju dan ada ciri-ciri keusahawanan ? Benar, ada! Tetapi, perniagaan yg sekali-sekala, yg selagi tak betul2 banyak keuntungan, selagi itu tidak meninggalkan kerja tetapnya. Terdapat sebuah buku yg menceritakan peluang2 membuat perniagaan selepas waktu pejabat. Perniagaan runcit dan kecil-kecilan.

Mengapa hanya kecil-kecilan ? Kenapa perlu dilaksanakan selepas waktu pejabat ? Bukankah itu memakan masa rehat kita diwaktu malam ? Atau memakan waktu santai kita dihari minggu ? Kerana jaminan ! Sekiranya gagal, masih lagi mampu menampung belanja bulanan. Tetapi, apabila kita tahu yg duit lebih itu dari berniaga, apakah pemikiran kita dipejabat tertumpu kearah melaksanakan kerja2 & amanah sebaik mungkin dan memperbaiki kekurangan sekiranya ada, ataupun hanya menyiapkan kerja2 didepan mata ?

Faktor 4 adalah kerana sentimen "kerja bagai nak gila, siang malam, ibadat kemana..", "duit byk pun bukan boleh bawak mati..", "kita digalakkan besederhana"..itu yg dipegang kebanyakan org Melayu. Kenapa tidak "bekerjalah spt kamu akan hidup seribu tahun, dan beramallah spt kamu akan mati keesokan hari", "9 dari 10 punca rezeki adalah dari berniaga", "wang yg byk boleh menyumbang zakat yg byk yg dpt membantu fakir miskin". Semua tahu Rasulullah berniaga..maka kenapa serbannya serta jubahnya diikut, tetapi semangat perniagaannya tidak diikut ?

Satu lagi faktor yg saya temui ialah tidak mahu berhutang. Tidak mahu berharap atau bergantung pada org lain. Masalah ego sebenarnya. Sekiranya, dgn berhutang kita boleh bergerak lebih maju, lebih cepat maka apa salahnya berhutang. Jgnlah diniatkan berhutang tapi tidak mahu membayarnya. Sekiranya berniat begitupun, kerajaan ada menawarkan kemudahan geran (grant) yg saya bicarakan. Wang yg diberikan tanpa perlu dibayar balik, tetapi kita haruslah melaksanakan apa yg kita katakan ketika memohon. Ianya adalah kemudahan utk menggalakkan keusahawanan dan pertumbuhan ekonomi.

Banyak lagi isu2 serta dilema yg perlu dibahaskan. Tetapi cukuplah setakat disini dahulu. Walauapapun, saya akan cuba memohon geran tersebut pd Sept ini. Lihat samada permohonan itu diluluskan dahulu ataupun "jaminan" yang sampai dahulu.

ONCE...potential investor

I went to SAB, thought for my application. After further discussion, technically definitely I can fill the gap for them. But business-wise, it's a good opportunity to us. Dato' also mentioned that it may not be ethical for me to leave like that. So, I proposed them to come in and buy. They are open for it!

I'll prepare the company profile and experiences as the CEO requested, and hopefully it'll be a good one. LC left it to me as I've started the ball rolling with them. I plan to submit the document to them by next week.

ONCE...one week guy !

1st August, Foo came back. Everyone welcome him, especially the CSM. Office became warm, happy and noisy again. LC really put high hope on him, as that would tell something to other people that left.

But today, he broke the news to LC. He's moving to Mesiniaga. "I know what I want, and Mesiniaga is the place to get it". Once, we had "One Day Lady"..and now we have our very own "One Week Guy" !

Anyway, all the best bro !

ONCE...back to rat race ?!

*sigh*..guess am back to rat race. Lost the steam already..thought can push it further (this), but only to realize that..it's no longer my passion (or $$ didn't speak accordingly :p). I've updated my CV and sent to few COs already. Thought I won't have difficulties finding jobs, but i thought wrong.

On my own CO, the development has been great..need to fine-tune here & there, then should be ready. Just that, marketing hasn't start aggressively..at least from my side. Few friends started pushing it to market already. Am rushing for the product to be ready, and then as suggested by my mentor, make it online. Pay then download!

Is my prayers being answered..? Seems like hints are available..just that..I don't get that feeling. The one that says "ah..! this is it !!". Or perhaps, I've made my decision previously..but don't really stick to it. Cause when I made that decision, the reason for it is very obvious and significant. So, why change ? Hmm...that day I wondered..almost 30, and yet to stabilize on my career. How far more..? How long more..? When would enough..is going to be really enough...?

ONCE...let's do it ! (?)

It has been very interesting development this week. ABDM tucked in her letter on Wed and caught LC off-guard. It was such a short meeting, that I'm also surprised. Then, LC asked me to go for a drink and she asked me whether is it possible for me to postpone my plan. If possible, both plans. I told her that I can postpone "going to work" but am going to start my own. But, when I go out for my business, it can be for the co as well. (I almost can see her first drop..but she's such a strong woman).

Anyway, I didn't say anything yet. But, that night, I've discussed with my wife. "She has done her part with Feng Shui. Have you done yours with Waqiah that mum told ?" Well, that's true..zikr that my mentor taught also not being practiced. However, I've started doing istikharah..but yet to come. For now, I'm going to focus on both companies. Furthermore, no offer on the table as yet.

Discussion with Foo last night was good, his call also good..and meeting with him just now also good. Hope for the best next week. We've talked to ABDM, and we'll know her decision next week.

I handed my card to LC..she's telling me that she'd pre-empt that I'm not going to be full-time here. I told her that Foo & ABDM knew it already. So, I shared her my plan on NDC, and she said might as well disclose. Easier ! Then, can move address here as well. Well, interesting thought indeed.

I'll consider that...and now, roll the sleeves...and let's do it !

ONCE...relieved !!!

I was thinking to tell LC yesterday, just before she went home. Then, thought it would better to tell her in the morning, before our meeting. Reached office at 9am, she's not there yet...10 something only she's in. By 10.30, I can't concentrate anymore..can't work, can't think. So I went ahead, closed the door and start telling her.

It was an odd 2 minutes of silence ! She dunno what to say...and I dunno what to continue. Anyway, long story short, starting July I'll be in twice a week. Kinda, diversification for me. But, if I'm "going back to..", then, need to see whether I can still remain as director or just shareholder. There's another option which LC dun wanna take into consideration as yet; dispose altogether.

It's hard for me to arrive to that decision..and very hard to tell her..but I'm glad that she's very understanding and cool. And business doesn't change at all between her & me after that. And for me...I really have to put those thoughts into papers. Or else, it'll all just be...well...an IDEA !

ONCE...is this it ?

I've just updated my resume. Last update was in 2002 for Mavcap submission. I was looking for my Detail Experiences that I dunno where the hell is the softcopy. So, this time, only from 2003 till 2006. 1998 till 2002 will be later I guess..when I've the time.

It's quite firm for me to initiate my own activity. The company has been created, but very slow in running it. But the opportunity (unexpectedly) on Tuesday, really made me thinking. It is more about my family that made me really thinking about it. And seems like, I'm going to pursue...in exploring it. My mentor asked me to update my CV last 3 weeks, but very the slow one (also). Maybe that time, I haven't realized the toll that it takes on my family.

Now the CV is ready, am going to prepare a copy for my mentor...and perhaps..am going to email it to Dato' tomorrow. Hope for the best !

ONCE...finally!

Finally...last Friday we've got our hand on our Streamyx in our new office! But, I can't really enjoy it as I need to go to KLCC for a meeting. To my dissappointment, when I reached office at 9pm, the connection not there anymore. So much about WiFi *sigh*.

Next Tuesday, we'll hv small Doa Selamat ceremony and office opening (makan2). Start operating in new office officially, start with new spirit, new theme, new energy, renewed vision and mission, renewed passion...may Allah bless us this time with good profitable deals and strengthen our belief to strive and be successful.

ONCE...moving to new office

We're moving to Kelana Jaya. We've packed most of the stuffs since yesterday and I'm going to see the new office this afternoon. Maybe bring some hand-carry stuff a bit. Later this afternoon, we'll try to dismantle most (if not all) of the cubicles, tables and shelves. Tomorrow...will be d'day :D !

Hope with the new office (save 50% of the rental compared to TPM), new month and renewed spirits and energy...we'll be better. Maybe the savings from rental, we'll put it back (or rather give it back) to the people. -Insya-Allah-

ONCE...holiday treat

We went back to PA friday eve. Hong lend me about 13 dvds (i've asked for 6 only). That night, i watched Bourne Identity and Spider-man 2. Yesterday morning, clear up the grasses, hang clothes then enjoyed Italian Job. After lunch, Angah came (surprised!) as he dunno what to do..alone at home. Maybe nothing nice on HBO, Cinemax & StarWorld or ESPN for that matter. But then, he were with me for 15 minutes on Star Wars II before doozing off. Woke up about 5 (as the show ends), then went back. And we then went to KS.

I'd just finished Star Wars III. It's amazing how George Lucas can create such a continuity in the stories. It made me wanna do something like that in Malaysia. Maybe need to start writing and imaging things now. It really relaxing for me..doing nothing but relax in-front of the TV. Clear-up my worries. But, that shouldn't be..should it ? What would LC think and do at this point of time ? Thinking very hard on how to get money i guess ? Or she'd pick-up on the things she left with her husband and kids ?

I've plans and agenda. Started but progressing very slowly. Dunno why it's so slow. Am I losing the steam already ? What would kick me back.? Last year when I was broke, there's so many ideas on how to get money...but it really ain't working when I'm not. But I kinda broke at the moment aren't I ?!!! So, why am I not kicking asses, adrenalin pumping thinking and acting on it ?!!!

"Procastinating, I am"..(hahaha...sounded like Master Yoda)...when shall I start..? When should I continue ? Can it be NOW ?! Emm...one thing for sure. I've procastinated on the ideas that I got back then. Never wrote it down, never execute...never even start on it! That's why I'm still broke!

ONCE...perihal Melayu ?

UMNO jangan jadi dinasaur

Kata-katanya mengetuk hati aku. Aku bencikan Melayu tipikal..tetapi apa itu Melayu tipikal ? Apa yg disuarakan oleh En Malik, menjawab serta membetulkan pemikiran aku berkenaan Melayu tipikal. Tidak ada istilah Melayu tipikal ! Melayu adalah bangsa yg kuat..kita yg membuatkannya nampak lemah. Dan aku harus membetulkannya...setidak-tidaknya...bermula dari AKU...

"Genggam bara api biar jadi arang"...apakah sudah berarang bara api yg aku cuba genggam sekarang ini ?!!

ONCE...Out of the Cage

Out of the Cage

I read this article and impressed with the words & thoughts...and I read without knowing the author..first! Well said...well said indeed...

ONCE...enemies@work

enemies@work

just find it interesting to read...and something to ponder..make me think of few also...

ONCE...TTT for PPSMI

YEY !!! I've graduated as a trainer for PPSMI program. Initially, it's for my personal agenda to participate to this program. But after listening to the nature of the program, it's really close to my heart..NATION BUILDING!

We were asked to introduce ourselves on by one (yesterday) and then mention the reason why we're here. So, nation building is one (and also mentioned about my ambition to be the 10th in 20 yrs), another one is to improve myself on public speaking esp to adult listeners. The Master Trainer, Pn Haliza is such a great motivator and speaker.

We also need to present a module and her comment to me was "..there's no energy..can't feel your enthusiasm..". It got to do with facial expression, voice tone and volume. I went back to office after that (around 9pm)..had some discussion with LC & BDM. Only at around 11 pm, I started practising. I record my delivery on the notebook. Then, I listened to it..."gosh..so booorriiiiiinng!!!" Straight away, I know I doesn't work...I need to work on it further. So went on practising till 2.30 am.

This morning, I was lucky as I'm in Liza's group. And we can choose any topic that we like and book our seat for presentation. VIP from TSI & MOE will be there to evaluate. While I was trying to pick my topic, then I heard..."lastly..Norhaizam. Why are you last ?!" errr...dunno Liza :D

Then, I planned on how to deliver my topic. And when the time come...I did well ! Just the finger-pointing need to be eliminated. To cut it short...I was informed that I've been certified. About 75% marks. Then, certificate presentation ceremony..and we all went back. It has made me a better person in delivering messages, presentation and public speaking. The next 2 months, I need to perform better than today.

ONCE...balik lambat

This conversation occurred on Monday (26 April) around 6-8 pm in Shah Alam (sorry, can't translate it or it'll loose it's essence:


   'ny      : Ummi, abi mana mi?
   ummi   : abi tak balik lagi...
   'ny      : abi go mana mi ?
   ummi   : abi go opis la...
   'ny      : abi ni ! asyik balik lambat saje !
   siti yah : haa...nanti abi balik..habaq kat abi lagu tu !

I laughed when my wife told me. My daughter noticed and can complaint already that I always went back late. Mostly, she's asleep already...and if she awake in the morning when we send her to babysitter's house, she's lucky to see me! Can I change this ? They missed me!

There's one day, I reached home at 5:30 am. It was around 8 or 9 am, semi-concious I heard my daughter saying, "emmuaks..! sayang abi sebab abi balik..'ny rindu abi..."..as she hugged and kissed me while I'm lying on the bed. I remember my wife laughed her heart out hearing that..(and some nice morning lecture for me after that laa) hehehhee...

errr... if I went back early and they see me everyday..they won't be saying sweet stuffs like that isn't it ?

ONCE...confirm miscarriaged :(

Saturday, 14:12, my wife bleeded and had much pain. And as she tried to change the pad, an object dropped in the toilet bowl. As motherly she is, she picked it up, washed it a wrapped it for me to bury it later. Went to Klinik Umra.

I arrived at 15:30, waiting for doctor to do the D&C. I went back to make my prayer, then came back at 16:30. Luckily there's two bed and the other was empty..so I slept there (tired !). Doctor came at about 1800 and half-hour later, done. My wife were drugged and still unconcious. "Wait another 1-2 hours, then can go back", doctor said. So, I waited till 19:30. Went back, then came again with my daughter at 20:30. It only cost us RM 645.

It's sad that our child couldn't make it. We believed there's blessing in disguise. We thank God that the mother is safe.