ONCE...nightmare ?

Had a nightmare last nite.  Woke-up at 4.30 am...then kinda afraid to sleep as when I just closed my eyes (not even sleep yet), it kinda continued.  But, since it's still far from dawn, nuthin la kut.

Had a good start in the morning (yesterday)...around 10 am received unpleasant news..but it's manageable (just need to be there..that's the problem). At 11 am another unpleasant but managed to sort it out (at least from my view at that time).  11.40 am really had a bad news !!!  Made me feel bad for the rest of my day (till now !!!).

Went to LP but couldn't find her.  'Meeting with Director' as her SMS replied.  The 'bad news' became milder at noon and at around 5 pm seems like back to normal.  But, I've got another troubling news...decided to do it remotely instead of doing it in the office.

Somehow...the 'bad news' turned really ugly around 8pm...being asking myself on what went wrong.  Does it has to be that way ?  I don't want it to be that way...and I don't want to lose it at all...how hard and how painful...I'd make it up...as it is too precious for me...

ONCE...tpt orang

Tengah bulan Mac ari tuh aku pergi ke Eropah Timur...ada keje skek...ni la baru dpt kumpul gambar2 yang nak dipostkan...sekadar memoir ahaks...

Minum kopi ngan makan pastry kat Amsterdam...mmg purposely pegi situ utk minum kopi jek...hehehehe....

Pemandangan malam di Crishatic Road (entah betul ke idak ngejanye)..sejuknye nauzubillah..max dlm 3 Celcius jek...telinga sampai naik beku lah kirenye..hari ke-4 baru dpt beli glove...tahan la sikit...topi yg buleh tutup tinga tu ada nak beli kat adidas..belakang itu kad tarak lepas (besoknya aku taruk la itu bank..debit card maa...not empty somemore...) belakang gua beli topi kampung punya...gerai kat metro station...jadiksla kan...

Ini la pejabat sementara gua...mmg seminggu tuh bertie dan berkot jelah...jenuh menepis awek2 tempatan yang ingin berkenalan (hahaha..perasan poyo !)

Pemandangan unik...tak tau la sebab apa yg depa bubuh mangga bebanyak nih...membacanya buleh..paham je belum..nanti la kalu pegi lagi insya-Allah dah buleh paham..tanya org situ dah tak reti cakap omputih plak..menariknya tpt depa nih, bersih...park dia terjaga...satu puntung rokok pun takde...depa betul2 jaga la..mana yg smoke tuh...duduk tepi dustbin, buang dlm tong sampah...

Malam sebelum balik tuh...depa bawak tengok ballet kat National Opera House...Swan Lake...kirenye terkenal lah...pertama kali teman nengok ballet nih...kabornye, kat Mesia nih takde ballet performance cenggitu...ada pun setakat nari2 ballet budak2 sekolah...satu jek yg teman geli nengok ballet nih...seluar lelakinye...ish...

Tak tau la nampak ke tak...gua punya nampak...nih dah nak balik...was snowing...patutnya dah abis winter..tapi Allah Maha Kaya, dia kata snow...maka snow lah iye....

Nak balik dah la nih...dasat tak opis teman..? Siap ada bendera ngan peta sekali...kat mesia pun tarak camni hehehhe....

Time nak balik...snowing the whole day...pastu dpt lak jalan2 kat taman bersalji....kirenye impian terlaksana sudah...nak pegi time winter and tgk snow...ingat dpt kat Korea ari tuh..belakang dpt kat Eropah Timur...Alhamdulillah....

ONCE...loosing my steam ?

This week has been really challenging.  From Mon till today...i know that late for meeting is not forgivable especially the kind of customer I'm managing (cardinal sin according to my HoS)...and late to come to project office is another.  Punctuality !

Tue, kinda down knowing the fact that I need to change.  As much as I hated it, I have no choice but to join the paradigm which is to 'cover your ass' and 'the hell with others as long as my ass is covered'.  Pretty fucked-up mentality but that's the reality.  It's hurt when all the good things that you've done...for years...gone just for one (I like to call it simple or silly) mistakes.  

Today, I really felt like loosing the steam.  If not for the interest of the customer and the nation on the project that I'm managing...I might have just walk-off.  Suddenly I'm seriously thinking about updating my resume and start flying it around.  I hate to do it...and hate to think about covering my ass first in doing my work...but once it has impacted my reputations...I guess I better do something before it is really to late.