ONCE...roasted !

It was 4 Mar.  Received long SMS from boss, arrived at SH at around 1 am.  He's damn serious this time.  Being grilled till 4 am and I've a meeting at 9 in Semarak.  When I decided previously, shared with closed friends esp boss and I've peaceful mind.  Clear direction and plan on how to move forward.  But after being grilled, i felt my head so heavy.  I think that is what people called 'stress'.

On the 5 Mar, he called for a 'brilliant idea'!  I said we talked once I arrived.  He shared the logic and basically he wanted me to go back.  I can see that it impacted him alot, he's not ready, he felt guilty and responsible eventhough I explained that he has no part at all in the whole thing.

But I decided to close my eyes and just follow his advice when RE shared that he's going to quit his MBA.  Damn ! I would feel guilty my whole life man ! It's not what I wanted.  Too many people that I love are at stake with my decision.  He was soo happy when I told him about my decision.  That nite with Pak Ngah lasted till 3 am.  My head was soo heavy and I just don't know why.  Friday nite, dinner with him...talked about the issue..felt a little relieved (had 3 hours sleep before that).  No doubt, my decision break lots of hearts.

Spend the weekend at Kg, came back...my heart not in its peaceful state.  Then I know that it doesn't work.  I tried to put it at ease, but I just can't.  As mom's advice, technicalities...then we talked.  Kinda agreed, amicably and harmony.

Arrived at SH at 1am last nite (or rather this morning), grilled again.  Till 5 am.  Only manage to fall asleep at around 6 plus and woke-up at 3 pm !!!  Seriously, kinda lost.  Know what I want, believed its the best...saw the consequences...seing the plan and believed that I can execute it well.

Above all that, I prayed to God to guide me, to give me strength to endure all this.  No doubt, one after another bombshell keep coming to me...is it a test for my failure ?  Is it a test to see whether I prevail ?  Ya Allah...guide me please...