ONCE...2013 closure

I know we have 1 more day to go but I might not be able to update tomorrow.  Since I'm at it, might as well get it done with.

2013 has been a rough year for me.  It has been very challenging for both professional and personal.  I had few big losses and few failures respectively.  I learnt few things in my losses and I have to be more aggressive and focus in the coming 2014.  Need to unleashed the killer instinct in me and drive it accordingly.  On my failures, I guess it was not my time yet.  I am placing it all in getting the better me first in 2014.  And really leave it all to Him.  When the time comes, I'm sure He will make it smooth and easy for me.

For those that I have encountered in both my professional and personal...whom so happen to read this blog...I present my humble apologies for all the mistakes and ill-feelings that I've done...I expressed my gratitude for the friendship, realization and lesson learnt that you share (knowingly or unknowingly).  May Allah blessed you all in your everyday lives.

So, thank you 2013 for the good and bad as both contributes towards better me in 2014.  Insya-Allah.

Happy New Year

ONCE...COBRA first excursion

It has been almost a year since COBRA was formed.  We had an outing in Tiara Melaka Golf & Country Club from 27 - 28 Dec 2013.  The fight between Captain Barbossa and Capt Sparrow on two days of golf, one round of bountiful dinner and decent lunch before head home.  The match results in draw (heheh).

Day 1 Fri - before teeoff

Day 1 Fri - Barbossa Red vs Sparrow B&W

Day 1 Fri - in-action (so-called)

Nite 1 Fri - pretending to be cool while waiting for food

Nite 1 Fri - appetizers with sata

Nite 1 Fri - enjoying the food and good company of fellow Cobras

Nite 1 Fri - pushed down the throat to finish all the crabs

Day 2 Sat - Breakfast

Day 2 Sat - Barbossa Blue vs Sparrow Red

Day 2 Sat - Before teeoff

Nite 2 Sat - Assam Pedas before hit home

 It was such a great events...get to know each and everyone's behaviors, characters, preferences and fumes.  Comradeship at its best...good fighting spirits and lots of laughter.  Looking forward for the coming trip guys !!!

ONCE...11.12.13

Eleventh of December 2013...perhaps the last nice numbers for this century...in my life time especially.  There will be no 13th month in a year coming 2014.

This date also symbolize new beginning for a short ending.  Not sure how long it may last...how patience the parties involved...how much available...and how much more is bearable.  Towards the ending, I've decided to put a stop in this kind of venture.  Probably, I'm too old for this already...yet the request to pursue and hoping we succeed.  Frankly, I doubt it.

ONCE...discovering unknown territories

Last week I went to some place new...learning new cultures...new way of life...new cuisine.  It makes you appreciate living in this beautiful country.  Having said that, little that was missed about home as there are bountiful locals there.  To my surprise they even speak Malay and accept RM...thinking of picking up new language goes to the drain as mostly people speak English.

There are also other elements that I learnt...exposed...and taking time to understand.  My first reaction of course could not take it...but I ponder and told myself to be patience a bit. Think it true...try to understand...and if need be find ways to correct it or worst, adapt to it.

Hoping the trip gave a new perspective...refresh my minds...and now kicking for the year end closing...yeaaaahaaaa...!!!

ONCE...36th

Another year gone by...another year older...hopefully, another year wiser.  Found the one and only...hope it will be forever.  We faced few challenges...but I guess, we weathered it well.  Touched with the greetings and warmth received in the office today.  And I must say that I'm truly amazed with Google.  My frontpage greeted with Google decorated with cakes (below).  Talking about customers for life, Google really has a way to keep you attached with them.

I hope this new day and coming...will be more healthy, fruitful, blessed and cherished.  Thank you Allah for all the 'nikmat'...hope to be better.

ONCE...feeling down

It has been close to 3 months...so much that we learnt...understand...explored...no less surprises as well.  Won't say it doesn't come with challenges but sweetness and charms beat them all.

I heard some news on Mon and yesterday people start asking me about it.  Some even heard about it last week.  It doesn't disturbed me not to be the first to know.  Focusing on submission for today...few issues crop-up...some on old account...some on new ones...bought down with all those...received an urgent message to call back and pushed to dinner later.  And another shocking news came...and then another...

Today has been very quiet...silent...early morning I've to start early in shooting my ammo as very simple things could not be resolved yesterday.  Unnecessary little Napoleon trying to impose shitty stuffs.  It was so damn hard to get business nowadays and the one that we have were made so difficult for us to keep our promise and deliver.  Thank God that my justification went thru and big boss gave green light to proceed.

Went very early to submit...imagine 11.15 proposal submitted to customer.  Still very quiet.  On the way just now, received another email...another issue.  Had early lunch...received a call..another issue..mood and moral went down and doesn't seem to have intention to get back up any time soon.

What is it ?  Crazy Wed ? This silence is killing me...surprisingly, I kinda coping with it well...perhaps few experiences before made me understand better...but not sure deal with it better yet.  Just sometimes...facing all these scenarios...I wish silence was not here...I need it now...when it matter the most.  Or perhaps...I'm too good in handling it alone...just like before...

ONCE...quarter closing (again)

As usual, every quarter end...dropping numbers.  This quarter has been very interesting.  Tenders came out...busy with submission.  My staff has report duty and started collecting POs.  My life also improved...has been fruitful, joyful and lovely.

Coming to 2nd months, lots of surprises...speechless moments...understand deeper...exploring and challenging comfort in seeing the progress...and of course...priceless memories.  Intend was shared and noted...let it go with the flow...until the day the He has pre-destined for us.  I thank God..syukur Alhamdulillah for the new beginning and smooth journeys...hope to be blessed till the end.

ONCE...56th merdeka

It has 56 years since we had our independence day. Glorious and prosperous...challenging and tough too. Hope it remains peaceful forever.

This merdeka month also brought life to the piece that I thought was dead. Never see it coming this way. It has been exciting, flattering, challenging, unexpected, lovely and undescribable feelings too. Unplanned journey n laughter has filled the moments and managed to light the piece to life.

Merdeka night spent with changing routes and end up with fabulous crab meat by the sea backed by volunteering singer and breeze winds. It was spectacular. It was intriguing. It was priceless moments.

Thank you for allowing me and making me feel alive like this again...

ONCE...ramadhan 2013

It has been 11 days...I don't know what to hope for.  Typically, hope that this Ramadhan will be better than last year.  Actually...? I hope I can do just that.  One good thing I guess is...this year's Ramadhan I will be doing it as a single man again.  Perhaps, this time around I can trim down a little bit compared to last year.  But sometimes, it does creeps into my mind.

I realized that my world doesn't revolve much.  It circles around the same area for the past 5 years.  Need to find a new setup or fresh environment or totally different culture. Some say the web can provide tremendous ideas or rather information depending on what you are searching for.  Tried it...and almost gave up.  Either it is because there's too much on the web and you do not know what to look for...or it was just a false hope provided by the web.

It hit me 3 days ago that perhaps I should just leave it for now...focus on what I wanted to do this year...work it, get it, celebrate it.  The search can be by-the-way kinda thing and not primary as it seems to be now.  Work my numbers...get the house checked...ensure the car well maintained...and stay healthy.  Remember that Haizam !!!

# SELAMAT BERPUASA #

ONCE...baraissia doqmen

On the 8th of June this year, I joined my friends and form BARAISSIA DOQMEN for our Closed Futsal Tournament at Subang Grand.  It has been almost 8 years since I last played futsal.  Considering age and stamina factors, I took goalkeeper post.  First time joining the weekly game, I have to learn alot about being a futsal keeper.  My first investment was on knee and elbow cover, and a pair of Nike glove.

Back : Apis, Harry, Juan, Ijadz
Front : Senior, Atang, Eka (Manager), Shah, Me

After the 2nd or 3rd time, my 9 years old futsal shoes (the design not available anymore) torn apart...unplayable.  So, my second investment was on Adidas Top Sala.  Kang thought me a lot about futsal goalkeeping.  Injured my index finger as well.  Made me start looking for a fingertip save gloves.  One day, we went to Pertama Complex where I bought a matching shirt and shorts (matching my shoes), then, knee and elbow pad (some say it was meant for volleyball's), matching socks, goalkeeper shorts and Adidas Predator training glove. The same day I played using the glove and it broke like hell.  After 7 hours leaving the store, the glove found itself in the dustbin.

The journey in finding Adidas fingertip save glove was very devastating.  About 4 Adidas boutiques, 5 Al-Ikhsan outlets, 2 Royal Sporting House...and they all don't have it.  End up in Nike store in Mid Valley, and I bought the last piece of my investment; Nike GK Spyne Pro.  That removes all the ambition to be total Adidas apparel for the tournament.  But, it was worthwhile.  During the tournament, hips and below on Adidas, while top on Nike.

After 1st match where we won 2-0

At group stage, we won against Mendung B (2-0), Bola-bola Api (3-0) and EB United (3-2) while we lost to Mendung A (0-2).  Semi-final held to a draw (1-1) with Rimba FC and brought to penalty shoot-out.  We went down with 3-2.  In the 3-4 places, we won against Waklu FC (3-1) thus won the 2nd runner-up for the event.  For someone who start from down below in being a futsal keeper, they (not me) believed it was a great performance.  Overall, we shot 15 goals and conceded 6 goals.

Me in action

sorry...giving my back

2nd Runner-up...yeaahaaa !!!

It was a great tournament, awesome experiences and exemplary camaraderie among Baraiss'.  It made our friendship closer.  Eventhough, diksu is leaving, but the friendship stays...and we do hope he will be back soon.

ONCE...i did it again

Today, I admitted that I've made another mistakes. Compromising unnecessarily. I had to put a stop to it...and I did it today.  Thought if finding a better day...better moment...but, I guess the sooner the better. I'm so sorry that it turned out to be this way.

ONCE...there, I said it...

It has been almost two months of exploring...gathering info, analyzing facts, cross checking references to a sound decision making.  Even if we use the most sophisticated system in the world, it won't be a perfect decision.  Decision making is just a checkpoint leading towards the path chosen...another journey to start...and definitely, there will be another checkpoint (sooner or later), where another decision has to be made.

Today, I said it.  What I held so close to me...fearing of making another mistake again...but even then, it is as almost, closing my eyes and go for it.  I hope this is the best and this is final.  Really exhausted to revisit it and start the processes all over again.  I pray for the journey for this decision today, would be smooth sailing.  No doubt there will be challenges and pain, but hope I can steer and endure it successfully.  Insya-Allah...

ONCE...it's official

Feb 14, official announcement during our department's kickoff that I've made it to the club.  The next day poster came out in the lift and few public places bearing our names.  Proudly and humbled to see my name there for the 1st time.

Now, it's already first week of March.  Things started moving i.e. getting busier than before.  And I should be busier as still lot more to be covered.  The journey is still far this year.  Hope all will go well as planned.

February has always been a 'good' month for me.  There has been cases where it all started in February.  And it suddenly became scary when I just realized it when I'm about to write this down.  I'm not sure where will it leads to.  To some of my closed friends, they are worried.  Need to think deeply and thoroughly on both sides.  Frankly, I'm afraid to even think about it.  Not sure whether I'm ready...whether I have what it takes...whether I'm willing...

All I can do now, pray to Allah to show me the way...perhaps, slowly letting go and let it be naturally.

ONCE...EKAT Reunion 2013

I managed to get myself available to join the reunion at Abbot's house in Kuantan last Friday.  It has been a while since I met all of them (who attended).  Plus, I managed to soften or restart my friendship with my bestie.  Awkward at first, but Alhamdulillah...it turned out well.

I was very challenging for me as the drive from Subang to Ampang normally took only 45 mins max...took me 3 hours.  Friday noon...raining...really not a good time to travel that side.  We hit Karak around 2000h and reached there about 3 hours driving.  Lots of food still... barbecue...prawn looks very tasty...but somehow, my stomach has shrink.  I can't eat a lot...even though I wanted to.

Next day, after breakfast and pit stop at the house, we moved to Pantai Sepat, about 5 mins walk from the house.  We setup another BBQ area...start BBQing...and get ready to play wood ball.  Very nice setup...good feeling...and I only got few shots on my legs.  Feel good that I shot few people too.

After whole drama, eat a bit...head back to the house, shower and head home.  Overall, it was a good trip and I'm truly glad that I stretch myself to go.  Thank you guys...look forward for the next reunion session.

ONCE...new year 2013

It's the beginning of the 4th week in 2013.  As usual, there have been good and bad that I have experienced...that I did...that I am fully aware on why it happen as such.

This year would be interesting...I received my account list including my sub's which has no name yet.  Mostly are new accounts and I can see why it being handed to me.  I guess my salesmanship gonna be tested greatly this year.  And I have no other choice except to excel with it.

I'm back to my oldself...and trying to get more of it.  Only to learn from my boss that to certain extent, it may not be practical in my field now.  There are 3 areas that he wants to see me improve this year...I call it PACE, SOFT and PROJECT !  I started playing badminton again...experience better stamina now...I need to repair my golf...improve to better and consistent play by year end...hoping to play well in the coming tournament too.

It's not really an impossible mission...but I would like to treat it as such...hope it goes well this year...