ONCE...quarter closing (again)

As usual, every quarter end...dropping numbers.  This quarter has been very interesting.  Tenders came out...busy with submission.  My staff has report duty and started collecting POs.  My life also improved...has been fruitful, joyful and lovely.

Coming to 2nd months, lots of surprises...speechless moments...understand deeper...exploring and challenging comfort in seeing the progress...and of course...priceless memories.  Intend was shared and noted...let it go with the flow...until the day the He has pre-destined for us.  I thank God..syukur Alhamdulillah for the new beginning and smooth journeys...hope to be blessed till the end.

ONCE...56th merdeka

It has 56 years since we had our independence day. Glorious and prosperous...challenging and tough too. Hope it remains peaceful forever.

This merdeka month also brought life to the piece that I thought was dead. Never see it coming this way. It has been exciting, flattering, challenging, unexpected, lovely and undescribable feelings too. Unplanned journey n laughter has filled the moments and managed to light the piece to life.

Merdeka night spent with changing routes and end up with fabulous crab meat by the sea backed by volunteering singer and breeze winds. It was spectacular. It was intriguing. It was priceless moments.

Thank you for allowing me and making me feel alive like this again...

ONCE...ramadhan 2013

It has been 11 days...I don't know what to hope for.  Typically, hope that this Ramadhan will be better than last year.  Actually...? I hope I can do just that.  One good thing I guess is...this year's Ramadhan I will be doing it as a single man again.  Perhaps, this time around I can trim down a little bit compared to last year.  But sometimes, it does creeps into my mind.

I realized that my world doesn't revolve much.  It circles around the same area for the past 5 years.  Need to find a new setup or fresh environment or totally different culture. Some say the web can provide tremendous ideas or rather information depending on what you are searching for.  Tried it...and almost gave up.  Either it is because there's too much on the web and you do not know what to look for...or it was just a false hope provided by the web.

It hit me 3 days ago that perhaps I should just leave it for now...focus on what I wanted to do this year...work it, get it, celebrate it.  The search can be by-the-way kinda thing and not primary as it seems to be now.  Work my numbers...get the house checked...ensure the car well maintained...and stay healthy.  Remember that Haizam !!!

# SELAMAT BERPUASA #

ONCE...baraissia doqmen

On the 8th of June this year, I joined my friends and form BARAISSIA DOQMEN for our Closed Futsal Tournament at Subang Grand.  It has been almost 8 years since I last played futsal.  Considering age and stamina factors, I took goalkeeper post.  First time joining the weekly game, I have to learn alot about being a futsal keeper.  My first investment was on knee and elbow cover, and a pair of Nike glove.

Back : Apis, Harry, Juan, Ijadz
Front : Senior, Atang, Eka (Manager), Shah, Me

After the 2nd or 3rd time, my 9 years old futsal shoes (the design not available anymore) torn apart...unplayable.  So, my second investment was on Adidas Top Sala.  Kang thought me a lot about futsal goalkeeping.  Injured my index finger as well.  Made me start looking for a fingertip save gloves.  One day, we went to Pertama Complex where I bought a matching shirt and shorts (matching my shoes), then, knee and elbow pad (some say it was meant for volleyball's), matching socks, goalkeeper shorts and Adidas Predator training glove. The same day I played using the glove and it broke like hell.  After 7 hours leaving the store, the glove found itself in the dustbin.

The journey in finding Adidas fingertip save glove was very devastating.  About 4 Adidas boutiques, 5 Al-Ikhsan outlets, 2 Royal Sporting House...and they all don't have it.  End up in Nike store in Mid Valley, and I bought the last piece of my investment; Nike GK Spyne Pro.  That removes all the ambition to be total Adidas apparel for the tournament.  But, it was worthwhile.  During the tournament, hips and below on Adidas, while top on Nike.

After 1st match where we won 2-0

At group stage, we won against Mendung B (2-0), Bola-bola Api (3-0) and EB United (3-2) while we lost to Mendung A (0-2).  Semi-final held to a draw (1-1) with Rimba FC and brought to penalty shoot-out.  We went down with 3-2.  In the 3-4 places, we won against Waklu FC (3-1) thus won the 2nd runner-up for the event.  For someone who start from down below in being a futsal keeper, they (not me) believed it was a great performance.  Overall, we shot 15 goals and conceded 6 goals.

Me in action

sorry...giving my back

2nd Runner-up...yeaahaaa !!!

It was a great tournament, awesome experiences and exemplary camaraderie among Baraiss'.  It made our friendship closer.  Eventhough, diksu is leaving, but the friendship stays...and we do hope he will be back soon.

ONCE...i did it again

Today, I admitted that I've made another mistakes. Compromising unnecessarily. I had to put a stop to it...and I did it today.  Thought if finding a better day...better moment...but, I guess the sooner the better. I'm so sorry that it turned out to be this way.

ONCE...there, I said it...

It has been almost two months of exploring...gathering info, analyzing facts, cross checking references to a sound decision making.  Even if we use the most sophisticated system in the world, it won't be a perfect decision.  Decision making is just a checkpoint leading towards the path chosen...another journey to start...and definitely, there will be another checkpoint (sooner or later), where another decision has to be made.

Today, I said it.  What I held so close to me...fearing of making another mistake again...but even then, it is as almost, closing my eyes and go for it.  I hope this is the best and this is final.  Really exhausted to revisit it and start the processes all over again.  I pray for the journey for this decision today, would be smooth sailing.  No doubt there will be challenges and pain, but hope I can steer and endure it successfully.  Insya-Allah...

ONCE...it's official

Feb 14, official announcement during our department's kickoff that I've made it to the club.  The next day poster came out in the lift and few public places bearing our names.  Proudly and humbled to see my name there for the 1st time.

Now, it's already first week of March.  Things started moving i.e. getting busier than before.  And I should be busier as still lot more to be covered.  The journey is still far this year.  Hope all will go well as planned.

February has always been a 'good' month for me.  There has been cases where it all started in February.  And it suddenly became scary when I just realized it when I'm about to write this down.  I'm not sure where will it leads to.  To some of my closed friends, they are worried.  Need to think deeply and thoroughly on both sides.  Frankly, I'm afraid to even think about it.  Not sure whether I'm ready...whether I have what it takes...whether I'm willing...

All I can do now, pray to Allah to show me the way...perhaps, slowly letting go and let it be naturally.

ONCE...EKAT Reunion 2013

I managed to get myself available to join the reunion at Abbot's house in Kuantan last Friday.  It has been a while since I met all of them (who attended).  Plus, I managed to soften or restart my friendship with my bestie.  Awkward at first, but Alhamdulillah...it turned out well.

I was very challenging for me as the drive from Subang to Ampang normally took only 45 mins max...took me 3 hours.  Friday noon...raining...really not a good time to travel that side.  We hit Karak around 2000h and reached there about 3 hours driving.  Lots of food still... barbecue...prawn looks very tasty...but somehow, my stomach has shrink.  I can't eat a lot...even though I wanted to.

Next day, after breakfast and pit stop at the house, we moved to Pantai Sepat, about 5 mins walk from the house.  We setup another BBQ area...start BBQing...and get ready to play wood ball.  Very nice setup...good feeling...and I only got few shots on my legs.  Feel good that I shot few people too.

After whole drama, eat a bit...head back to the house, shower and head home.  Overall, it was a good trip and I'm truly glad that I stretch myself to go.  Thank you guys...look forward for the next reunion session.

ONCE...new year 2013

It's the beginning of the 4th week in 2013.  As usual, there have been good and bad that I have experienced...that I did...that I am fully aware on why it happen as such.

This year would be interesting...I received my account list including my sub's which has no name yet.  Mostly are new accounts and I can see why it being handed to me.  I guess my salesmanship gonna be tested greatly this year.  And I have no other choice except to excel with it.

I'm back to my oldself...and trying to get more of it.  Only to learn from my boss that to certain extent, it may not be practical in my field now.  There are 3 areas that he wants to see me improve this year...I call it PACE, SOFT and PROJECT !  I started playing badminton again...experience better stamina now...I need to repair my golf...improve to better and consistent play by year end...hoping to play well in the coming tournament too.

It's not really an impossible mission...but I would like to treat it as such...hope it goes well this year...

ONCE...fall into places

It is coming to the end of 2012 already.  Second time for me facing the pressure on closing the numbers.  Even though things have been discussed and shared, only until the numbers reflected that I can take a deep breath and exhale slowly.  That is the only time that says, 'I'm safe...and done for this year !'.

I must say a lot happen this year.  Challenging times, ups and downs (as usual..that's life), appreciation and cynicism, love and hate, win and lose...all intertwined (am smiling when writing this word) and made 2012...another memorable year.  Moving forward to 2013, I pledge to improve on my extrovert or extra-aggressiveness to a more sober and tactful approach.  Watch my mouth and be more sensitive on my surroundings.

51 hours to go before we close 2012 with a smile and Alhamdulillah, and begin 2013 with Bismillah and tawakal.

Happy New Year !!!

ONCE... catastrophic

This week is very challenging.  It started like two weeks ago.  When all my items are ready for delivery but site wasn't ready till late Dec.  I foresee the doomsday on my part.  And my boss doesn't make it any easier by sharing our situation.

When we brainstormed on the interim idea, I planned to call all the technical teams and share my expectations.  However, it happened earlier as concerns raised by my beloved SA.  It turned out good and bad.  Good for the team and project, but bad for her as I swing my 7 iron on her head.  I told her I don't like to see people tai-chi in front of me and especially external.  If you dare to lead, you own.  Anyway, that would be a different post altogether.

On that same day I briefed my boss on the plan since he will be on leave on Friday.  After listening attentively, he said, "it has to work...it can't fail...it will be catastrophic if we failed.".  Not much I can say except, "I understand boss.".

After much meeting and discussions, brainstorming and whacking, preparing as well as managing temper and anxiety, today I received an email stating that our interim may need to be put on hold.  Good news received on the site that making our interim plan seems irrelevant.  It also made my day in the office now, irrelevant.  One thing for sure, I need to alert all my teams on the change of plan and the way to move forward.  It might also mean I can skip the 9am meeting on Monday morning in KL hahahahaha...

ONCE...great wins !!!

I received one good news after raya..clarification meeting. It was said that no matter I agree or don't agree in that meeting, I will still got the deal. Being us, we agree to most of it where we believed would help them better.

Early Sept we kicked-off the project. In fact, I'm still nervous that time as I haven't received the LoA yet. It was just few minutes before it started that I received the LoA which marked clearly that we won the deal. Thank God!! Alhamdulillah...

Yesterday, we had our BFF Ryder Cup 2012. The first one in fact. Before the Ryder Cup, I told people that we are like USA...Public Sector & Infra Services Dept vs PEC-T ( rest of the world in MB). When USA lost to Europe, I hope we won't be like them.

On paper, I might not won..even few friends told me that I can. My boss counted me as one of the potential winners. Through out the match, i was charging all the way. 1 up from first hole and never in an A/S position. Herfa on the other hand, being like Ian Poulter, made a comeback from 3 down to win 4&3. I won 3&2..and overall..WE ARE THE BFF RYDER CUP 2012 !!!

Overall results:

1. Nordin vs Wong (4 & 3)
2. Remy (2 up) vs Ming Heng
3. Herfa (4 & 3) vs Amir
4. Haizam (3 & 2) vs Zahrain
5. Arman vs Darren (2 up)

Thank you guys..kudos and we shall meet again soon.

The Players : Left (Red) - PEC-T vs Right (Green) - Public Sector & Infra Svc

Buddies and Opponents

ONCE...Almost ending

It's less than a week now before Ramadhan leave us. I wished I can do better. For once, since am back single, this is the first time that I didn't lost weight (didn't weight it though..just from the face)..i didn't manage to control my diet this time.

Lots of nice things happen too. Strengthening the bonds..get to know better..just that sometimes am having problem adjusting.

Couple of weeks ago I played great..of all places it took kinrara to break it..and as usual, it's hard to maintain it. Hope it'll always go up. Can't wait for the coming 'ryder cup'...and also the most waited result...soon..

ONCE...Ramadhan 2012

I just realized that I missed posting for June.  So many things happened since the last time I blogged.  Fruitful, sweet no less pain as well.

The Anniversary Dinner introduced me to moments that I have long forgotten.  I was unsure about it but pretty sure that my heart kinda closed for it.  Don't want to repeat the same mistake again.  But, I played along...laid my baselines, shared my priorities on the table.  If willing, we'll see how it goes.  Unwilling ? Remain as friend.

It was when I met the mother that I realized...in fact, after a while I realized...that was the reason I started opening up my heart.  No hypocrisy..no hiding..no prejudice..accepting me as who I am, for the good and bad.  At one point, made me scared too.  Afraid of failing, hurting and being hurt.  Somehow, it prevailed till now.

While those on going, I was shared with shocking news.  Need to vacate my place almost urgently.  I asked for 3 weeks, which I got it...but I vacate it the same week still.  It's pity to turned out that way, but, some things are better remain unspoken I guess.  Sometimes, not knowing is better then know it all.

Today, 1st day fasting in the office.  Fasting at hometown with my family members are great...just that, not so nice for my stomach & diet.  Thought of controlling it today, but failed again.  Will exercise starting tomorrow...and hope, Ramadhan this year is better than last year.

Happy fasting you allz...!!!

ONCE...30th Anniversary Dinner

It was a great night last night...celebrating Mesiniaga's 30th Anniversary Dinner.  I must say that I'm proud to be Mesiniagans.  For the history...for the culture...for the value its creating.  I must say it never easy to stay on top, but it's a challenge or journey that will never ends.  And it also make everyday, an interesting and special day.

Met lots of new faces...some new...some are there for years but probably not based in HQ.  For all the newcomers, welcome aboard !  There are lots of come-backs recently.  I noticed the last 2 years we've seen ex-Mesiniagans coming back onboard.  Most of them after leaving Mesiniaga for years...and bringing their values and experiences to strengthen the company.

I've lots of memorable experiences throughout my 6 years tenure.  Sweet, great and awful inter-twinned.  The last 2 months brought few good news to me.  I've won an infra project despite losing the application one.  Eyeing for few more coming.  Firing up to replicate to others which I'm lacking currently.  Need to really push myself to go for it.

Some of my colleagues featured here...this is the most AWESOME team with COOLEST boss (can be nasty too when it come to quarter ends)...my buddies are also here...we had great time last nite !!!  And this year...I don't want to be left behind...

ONCE...gadgeting

I never really thinking about going to have this gadget...it's really like a dream...now, i've this gadget that hopefully would make me be more efficient (if you will)...thank you for believing in me...

ONCE...3 wood in action

I was summoned on Thu to be up in Awana by noon yesterday.  So I did.  Warm welcome as always.  After Friday prayer, 4 flights take-off.  Mine on the forth, only 3 of us...play peacefully...no game, no psycho...just enjoying the view, the breeze, the scenery...

Alhamdulillah, I played quite well...managed to break 100 with 1 birdie and 3 pars...first time playing there though...and again, 3 wood all the way...surprisingly, I won the forth place in Modified 36 system...!!!  This is how close I was for my birdie at 17th Hole (Par 3) Awana Genting...yeehaaa !!!

ONCE...football fever

It started last month...when my golf buddy planned to throw a treat to our maintenance team by playing friendly football match...he started checking on who's who wanna play, and definitely I'm joining !  The idea is to build-up my stamina for the coming badminton tournament in May.

I bought a new football boot (of course Adidas)...and it was left idle for almost a month !!! When I thought about selling it back, the 1st training session started on Fri 3 Mar 2012 at PLUS FC's home...great turnout that day, almost 24 people altogether...the plan is to gauge who's who can play in which position...

Last Wed we had our 2nd session...this time, 1st 11 forward against 1st 11 defense...I played defense for 1st 11 forward...surprisingly, with extra warm-up session this time around, I had thigh muscle pain..perhaps, the muscle is developing...not long after that, my colleague injured his shoulder and I took over as goalkeeper...kept it quite well though ;-)

Guess for now, I'm the official 2nd keeper for the team...had a few great tips last nite that I can put into practice this coming Tue...refreshing and enjoyable...

ONCE...getting back on my feet

Last week I hang out with my close friends...it touched me when he said that he felt 'terhegeh2' in helping me as it seems like I'm not doing anything yet after we talk about it.  What I've done is not to his expectations...he really eager to help me...and I have to show that I also want to change my life.

Another shared that I've lost focus.  It struck me really...not knowing that is how they saw me.  I must say it ain't easy to get back on my feet...to stay in focus or remain in focus...most of all...am not aware that I'm losing focus...

Realizing is one thing...doing something about it is another...will see how it goes for another 21 days...

ONCE...PIKOM PLC Training Day 5

Last day it was on Fri 13 Jan 2012.  That's where the conclusion of the training, the results and time to move on.  Alhamdulillah Thank God I passed and certified...great relieve.  Above all, I learnt so much...know where I am compared to the legendary leaders, knows the gap..and what I need to do to reduce the gaps.

The last words that sifu told me was...'Let go ! You're good..now go and practice.  Share with me the success stories..'.  Ironically, all the movies I watched that nite, never failed to mention the word 'let go'.  Kinda reminding me on what I'm supposed to do from that day onward.

I'm really glad that I went to the training...even with the wrong reason initially...but I'm moved now on what I want to do and achieve in live.