ONCE...sakit mata

Balik dari kursus, anak2 aku dah beransur pulih..cuma isteri aku je mata bengkak dan merah. Aku harap aku tak kena. Tapi, Allah Maha Kuasa..hari ahad aku pulak kena. Masa jumpa doktor amik ubat isteri aku, doktor kata mata aku belah kiri cam nak bengkak. Aku ingatkan sebab makan ubat batuk malam tu yg buat aku nak membuta je...tapi..memang nak kena pun. Malam semalam dah jadik sama cam bini aku..merah menyala..cam ponti! "Ponti jantan" kata bini aku.

Dari semalam sampai ke hari nie, buat extensive medication. Memang tak tinggal makan ubat dan titis ubat mata. Kiranya, awal tahun nie, Allah uji aku macam2. Batuk, sakit mata, selsema dan demam. Kalu aku tak makan Panadol semalam, gerenti tak bangunnye ari nie. Itu ujian kesihatan yang diberi. Sebelum tu dan masih lagi sekarang nie, ujian kesusahan dan kelapangan.

"Sabarkanlah aku ya Allah..berilah aku pedoman dlm menjalani ujianMu ini."

ONCE...get ONLINE again!

Completed the SUS and it was great! Eye opener (thought I know a lot about entreprenuership already...but there's so much that I still don't know..but I do now), met lots of friends. Some already in business doing International Trade, Biotech manufacturing, Petrol kiosk operator, contractors, Frozen-food manufacturer among others. Not to be forgotten, fresh grads and employed as well. But, about 80% has started thinking business already. We'll have an alumni called "SUS150" or something like that and meet again after a year.

Looking back at my 5 years plan, I've 19 months before it end. Looking at where I am today, I'm far from reaching it...unless I do something about it. NOW !!! And NOW is what I'm preparing for. Coming February will be very exciting. Need to make sure that I WON'T GIVE UP EASILY ! Whatever it takes...whatever it may be...come what may...I'll strive...I'll go for it...I'LL MAKE IT !!!

ONCE...firemen on bike !

[Tue 24 Jan 2006 1102]

I was waiting for the traffic light to turn green as I saw blue-red siren-like lights coming. And it turned out to be FIREMEN! They're on bike...cool bike i'm talking about. It's like the other bike of Kesatria Baja Hitam. I'm not sure whether it's new or it has been around for some time already...but that was my first time seing it ! Tuesday night.

ONCE...did I say it too much ?

[Wed 25 Jan 2006 1153]
It hit me when TS apologized to me few times when I mentioned to her that "...I was given a dateline from my...err...errmm..staff..". It all started from her email on the possible job scope of TS (based on her research from JobStreet, her thought, etc), I was given a dateline to provide the written and confirmed job scope of TS. And I make fun of it (or sarcastically) said that to her. But, I guess, she probably felt "..oppss...shouldn't do that to my BOSS !!" as she kept apologizing. It made me thinking, did I mentioned it to much (few times in a row) that made her think that I'm serioud about it. Am I..?! Or Am I not ?!

Let say it doesn't really matter to me, but..would it be the same if other people put the same remark to me ?! Am I actually created or really DO or PRACTICE favouritism ? Or is it that we kinda close since we think a like (LC always mentioned "..great people think alike.."), have common interest and stuff that I don't quite disturb with such statement. I guess if AMBD gave the same remark, I wouldn't budge so much about it.

Anyway, perhaps..to be on the safe side, she could improve...put a softer tone. Just in-case ! Not every boss is okey with such statement.

ONCE...gotta-be-kidding !

I saw this and immediately "...what a joke !" It'd be amazing those Standard Four students are soooo bold and precisely aware about their rights under which part of the law..and make them filed to sue the GOVERNMENT !!! It is obviously driven by the parents, and that's is TRULY manipulating their children for don't-know-what reason. Guess this people has nothing better to do except trying to get easy money, big bucks, fame (or shame really) or glamour by sueing the govt.

Let's try to be professional here (concentrate on the issue). It has been implemented for 3 (if I'm not mistaken) years. It should have been then rather than now. And 4 students out of few hundred thousands, is too little to be taken seriously. It should be for the good of the country. If it do good to 1/2 million youngsters, I guess we can ignore the 4. Perhaps, the parents should look into better ways to improve their children's performance in catching up with English rather than pamperring them with unnecessary protection.

ONCE...improved

Alhamdulillah...AD#1 seems motivated. Guess AD#1 and AD#2 (soon-to-be TS by Feb) has sorted their problem or issues...as they look friendly like before. TM seems in control, eventhough out-of-hand but looks like he know how to manage it. Called him for project update (30 minutes notice only) and he can update me smoothly.

LC asked me to present for MyD's tender presentation. Asked SUS organizer, he said can be excused..just that lost that session. Then, postponsed to 5 pm 24 Jan instead of morning. Guess skip the night class only. Told BDM to let TS free on Monday, want her to prepare my presentation script.

Seems like everything fall into places one-by-one. But need to be very patient and keep going. Take it one-step at a time. LC called me at about 2035 about the potential investor, seems like positive. Need to pray more and work harder still. My mentor came back from Haj today, will pay him a visit tomorrow night.

ONCE...TeAM Council

LC asked me last week, whether I want to be in TeAM Council or not. She can't continue, wanna recommend me. Yesterday, she told me that the recommendation has been supported by Nazrin! If accepted, then need to spend time on that also. But, no complain man ! I wanna learn from those people, esp Nazrin, on how to think critically, comment constructively, act and behave professionally, and how to network/socialize naturally.

Anyway, will need to wait for TeAM's AGM first. If elected, hope I can perform and deliver as expected. Will need lots of support by then! Aah...I'm going for SUS training ! Monday till Saturday...hehehhe..accommodation provided (as in the website)...training, in Shah Alam !!! 10 minutes drive from my house..hehehe...

ONCE...Career TALK

I was invited by my friend from INPENS to give a Career Talk which I put it as "Are you IT ?!!!". It's quite tough as I run through the courses offered. How do these Certificate holders going to get job in this competetive and tough ICT world ? Looking at this, I said "..there's no opportunity at all for you guys. With this, I end my presentation. Thank you." Well...they do understood that it was a joke.

I told them that their prospect would be out of Klang Valley; Sabak Bernam, Hulu Langat, Tg Karang for Selangor among others or Kedah, Perlis, Kelantan & Terengganu. They can make money there. Being an entreprenuer there to create job opportunities for all the degree holders! Suggested to my friend to revamp the syllabus, put in new tools that are highly sought after in the market such as .NET & more advanced Java programming. Databases, software development methodologies, etc. But, INPENS need to get on its feet. New courses, updated syllabus and most importantly, NEW LOCATION ! Pity that they're the victim or results of TOP MGMT directions. The real pity is to the students. 2nd grader SPM leavers but still eager to improve/better themselves, Selangorians..but the TOP doesn't really bother about that. All that matters is their POCKET & POLITICAL stability!

I'll assist my friend with inputs on the syllabus (whether he want to use it or not, i'm going to bug him still!). Hope they can survive and do better. For the betterment of my young Selangorians, I'll do my best based on my capacity in this field, to assist. Insya-Allah !

ONCE...revengeful ?!

This week I'm still disturbed with all the things that happened. My "intelligence" still come now and then to update on latest development. And it's prolonging my anger and eagerness to take revenge. I want to know the brutal facts but yet to loose faith. But, is this "revenge thingy" a sign of me losing faith ? Or is it a sign of me CANNOT accepting the truth ? Well, the truth here is that people are talking bad about me on my back (duh..!!!). What angers me was that attitude, its the typical Malay attitude that I don't like the most!

Then, yesterday, I saw this. It reminds me that a friend has labelled him "stupid". And when I told my wife, I kinda use the same term (and she "lectured" me on having that attitude!). Yesterday, it slapped on my face, as what "the people" did to me now, is what I did to him then! It made me thinking, what would he think or feel if he knows that I said this to him. Will he hated me like this ? Will he be so emotional ? My mentor compiled all those BAD THINGS to be presented to him. Man...how am I going to be PM if I can't handle this crisis wisely ?! I went to Tun's lecture on Leadership in Crisis Management, but don't I learnt anything from there ?! (will look at the notes afterwards ;-) )

I also realized that this #&%* crisis has taken me aback from putting all my efforts towards business. I've forgotten my aim of putting myself having the same challenge as Idris. Todate, I've no solid plan yet. But, he has (eventhough not officially yet..or it supposed to be PnC there?) the plan already!!!

Really have to buck-up and concentrate on my goals. Maybe should just TH with all this %#&**@. Should try to adopt what my partner suggested, "..it's better not to know..." and "...don't be too sensitive...". 2006...challenging since day 1...very exciting !

ONCE...firing season

Dev#3 has been MIA since Monday. I've told TM to execute according to HR procedures. Ultimately, terminate him ! Knowing that he has track records for MIA at his former company, and the fact that I've remind him on his first day here...and yet he still do it. Guess it simply show's how "Wrong people" shouldn't be in the bus ! I've told TM that if the axed-guy came to the office (because I don't want him to be in the office, for whatever reason !!!), he will be axed after that ! (huahuahua...!!!)

Now, I'm looking for the Right People to be in the bus. Attempt has been made, offer has been given, just need to wait for his decision. "Buat Istikharah malam tadi tapi belum dapat petunjuk lagi...bagi sampai ari ahad la...". Meanwhile, has to start looking for more Right Peoples !

ONCE...You're Fired !!!

I wish I can do that just like Donald Trump. But, we being nice also..asked to leave. As I step into the office, I met my partner. Told her about the choice and:

   LC: "Let sit on it first, let me go to the meeting and you go make your Friday prayer and pray to God for some wisdom"
   Me: "U know what ? I did last night. As I was listening to the info and looking at the evidences, I prayed. And 10 minutes or so after that, I received a call from Dev#1 telling me that he's car was broken and the floating Sales notebook was stolen!"
   LC: "Yeah...but let it sink first. You're too emotional now. We'll discuss further after prayer."

She's always wanna look at the positive side (which is good!). After prayer, I saw TM & BDM already in her room. "Just started...", she said. Asked their opinion, I added some inputs, LC with her rationalization. With Dev#1, "RELIEFED!", so firm decision made; AXED!!! But for AD#1, it'll be quite a waste. And LC also believed that she has the Right People attributes, and she's among the Right People that we want to be On-the-Bus.

As PROFESSIONAL & DEMOCRATIC, argued & justified, decision made; WARNING!!! And what's the strategy for the aftermath ? The risk & options ? It was 4 pm and I can't wait longer actually. But need to wait for CFO to come back from the meeting in KLIA to prepare the necessary docs. To make sure both stayed, I've asked Admin to announce that there'll be a tech meeting (they thought because of the notebook case) around 5.30 or 6 pm, as CFO came back (the whole thing finished around 7.30, and I totally forgotten that Dev#2 & #3 are still waiting for the meeting. AD#2 went back already. Anyway, sorry guys...).

5.30, LC said CFO came back already. So, she called Dev#1 to her room, then I told TM, "Now !". Long story short, he didn't admit it till the end. We need to probe little by little, and detailing the projects and incidents, but yet till the end, he didn't admit it. Just "This is very sad to me." Can't really recall whether he apologized or not. I couldn't care less at that time. Get CFO to escort him, with TM to watch he pack and immediately leave the office. He'll serve his notice at home, no need to come back !

6.20, AD#1, as LC started, she immediately "...I owe both of you an apology...". Again, long story short (one tissue only anyway..) she accepted. We gave her 2nd chance, and I told her that she has to give us a chance also to improve and make it better. Hope it'll really be better after this. "Start fresh, leave 2005 behind, but don't forget the lesson." as I conclude.

8.30, it was just LC & I in the office, I shared that the evidence was attacking on me personally. And that's why I'm very emotional, "..it hits your soft spot.." LC said. She continued "...sometimes, it's better not to know...". Well 2006, SMART, FOCUS, PROFESSIONAL, DYNAMIC & DEMOCRATIC ! Will really working on improving my EQ !

"Thank you God for Your guide & blessing, also for the wisdom for me to carry on further..."

ONCE...Tough Decision

(sigh!)...........very disturbed with the news & information that i heard last night...really angry and dissappointed! have to make a decision, one from 3 choices:

   1. act
   2. pull
   3. or ...

"God..give me the strength and wisdom to decide and execute. Please guide me to the right decision, for the good of all!"

ONCE...office reform (4)

Missed the last progress report for 2005. No progress report came to me. But that week is last week of 2005, and the most anticipated activity was the Strategic Planning. MGS development was active and heard results generated greatly (devs deliver their task on time).

Well, except for Prog001, as pointed in the Strategic Planning, he's such an unreliable person, bad time management and commitment level (had other commitments). And because of that, 29 Dec 2005 was his last day in the office. There's no more Prog001 coming 2006.

"So long man..! Hope God bless you always and you excel in your future endeavours !"

ONCE...Balik Awal ?

It was yesterday, I arrived home around 9.30 pm. My daughter cheered up that I came back while she's still awake, my son bit gungho and cried as I didn't pick him fast enough.

The best part ?! My wife asked, "Awai balik ? Awat ?" (Early today ? Why ?). Then, my father-in-law as he scoop the ice-cream, "Aik, balik awai hari nie ?". Guess, my sister-in-law & mum-in-law had the same question as well, but it'll be too much to ask the same question in 2 minutes right ?

So, that's the first for 2006. Had a few in 2005 though. Just, dunno whether I should be proud of it or what ?

ONCE...Staffs' Appraisal 2005

Today, continued with AD#2 & Dev#1. Had with AD#1 yesterday. What I would want to post here (after yawning few times reading the SOA articles), is the findings today about being Malayanized!

I was accused of execising favoritism. It's so annoying that they saw the "F" (for favourite) person, always come to my room, chit chat (on what they don't know and don't care)..what they saw was this "F" person is KISSING-MY-ASS for some recognition & to get "F" messages across or synch with me. WTF ?!!! I said:

   Me : "if you guys don't wanna come here and have a chat with me, and "F" came and chat with me, why am I at fault ?! There're other person also that came to me, TM, AD#2, BDs, for example, and why with "F" its different ?"
   X : "Because mostly in meetings or discussions, you WILL agree on whatever "F" said!"
   Me : "But, during pre-strategic planning, I did agree with you and withdrew "F" idea! I am exercising (learning still) true professionalism in this company. Our problem is that we have been MALAYANIZED ! How you asked ? When you didn't speak-up for the truth ? Enquiring to know more to clear your conscience ! Assumed too much ! Make negative assumption and never bother to get it clarified or justified to move the grudge ! You step-back from wanting to know the real truth because obliged by motherly approach and tone from CEO during Strategic Planning ! You should have ask it there and then, rather than point it out here again."

After the Strategic Planning, now is the time, to EXECUTE ! No more looking back, to hold...may look back to learn then MOVE ON ! The best part (I don't know) to me was to know that someone called me "B**I punya boss !", because of that favouritism perception. For now, I'm still smiling about that remark...and yet to figure out what and how to respond to it. Maybe, as they suggested "Go out and play golf, network with all those Datuks or whoever, catch bigger fish !"...so the "F" wouldn't be the FIRST to come to my room anymore, whenever I entered my room. Then, they won't see any more BUTT-KISSING action or FAVORITISM for that matter.

SUCH A b#*&@?#$ TYPICAL MALAY THINKING ! GOD BLESS ME PLEASE !!!

ONCE...Happy New Year !

Happy New Year !!! Welcome 2006 !!! Last friday I've changed the arrangement in my room, me against the wall instead of the window, facing my whiteboard and also facing the people. Today, I rearranged a bit my bookshelf and maybe later today, tidy up all the cables and relocate the phone (if i can wait till later...).

Weekends spent in PA. My son just got his feet, so walking like anything. I bought few books on Saturday before heading to PA. Anyway, in PA, really relaxing (from work!). Watching TV with the kids, yell few times at them, play a bit, makan, then tgk TV lagi, makan and tido.

Yesterday, tragedy happened! First time in my life ! My car has about another bar before 'E' since Friday. From my experience, it can still go another 30-40 km. My wife went to the market on Sunday but she didn't put in the petrol as I said it can still go to SA. So, Monday night, loaded the bags, warm-up the engine for about 5 minutes. And as we all get into the car, it stopped ! Can start, but then dead again. Battery is ok, engine oil is ok, coolant is ok...it must be the petrol. Go next door, wanna borrow their bike, but all those guys were sleeping. Called Bg Asri, he's at Jelutong. Anyway, he'll asked his brother to help. Then, Nizam helped me to go to Petronas, loaded the petrol RM 3.30 about a litre plus. Bg Asri arrived and helped to fill the petrol as I need to get the lid open and hold the self-made funnel. And true enough, it's the petrol. Head off to Petronas again for another RM 70.20. Used to be RM 60++ but thanks to reduction in goverment subsidy, we'll pay more.

Thank God, it happened before we go out. Imagine we're in the middle of PA middle road to Jelutong, or Meru ? Thank you God !!!