ONCE...the big one coming...

Last Friday, the one thing that being talk about for the past 2 years has arrived. Finally, it came out !!! Unfortunately, the content is discouraging even though it has been anticipated.

It is time to gather the team officially...crack the brain frantically...finding all possibilities and approaches that may be available...to craft a masterpiece that hopefully will be recognized. To plan and lead the team as I'm expected to provide the direction...share the strategy to win it.

Various strategies being explored...one, as being planned and worked out for long..the other, planted but need to be expedited while the recent one, riskier and have to thread very carefully. Shall I pursue all of them at once...or take only one and put all the efforts in it ?

Tomorrow, will be a long day for me. Meeting to start at 0900 followed with 1030..after lunch at 1430 and continued at 1600...if invited officially, dinner at 1800 and perhaps call it a day by 2300 or so...

ONCE...hours to kill at KKIA part 3

It was 1815 when I heard my name being called twice. I was so into Angry Bird at that time..so rushing to shutdown and chase the gate, I hold my bags on each shoulders and notebook at my hand, and rush to the gate...only to find that nobody was there !!! Have I missed my flight ?!!

I asked the PIC, he asked me, "Do you know that your flight delayed to 12 midnight ? Please go to Counter 10 to change your flight". So, I did and they suggested flight at 2120. I argued saying that I tried to change to earlier flight when I checked-in at 1430 but denied...and now to extend another 4 hours ? He said that at that time, the flights were not delayed yet...which after a while when I asked about reason for delay, he shared that there's a hole in the runway. It was closed for 2 hours in the morning, causing delays to all flights from morning. I just realized how contradicting the facts (when I want to change my flights) when I arrived in KLIA yesterday.

Anyhow, I almost screamed to him since I kinda spent almost half a day in KKIA. He looked puzzled and still reluctant to give me the 2120 boarding pass. He discussed with his colleague and after waiting for about 10 minutes (having a view of airasia's staff bending..but facing her, but her colleagues are having a really nice view though..and he smiled to me when he passed by..hahahaha), I got my boarding pass for 1855.

And again, I'm rushing to go back in and this time, Immigration asked me for the visitor's slip (or whatever-the-name-is). I told her that I checked-in earlier, and I just came back to change my flights. To make it 'better', they just changed shift ! So the guy that validate me has went back. Her officer asked to check the system, and then only I was cleared.

I've 15 minutes to catch the plane (as that's how the counter guy portrayed to me..'be quick..')..and nobody queuing at the gate. Apparently, it was delayed to 1920. And this time for real, 1920 boarding and at about 2200 I touched down at LCCT. And I must say, that flight was the most soft-landed, time consuming touch down I ever experienced with AirAsia. Dunno kudos or damn shall be the good word for it.

ONCE...hours to kill at KKIA part 2

I discovered a little bit more about this terminal. Apparently, there's also Gate 3 and 4 with a lot of empty spaces for 200 people standing comfortably. There's also Famous Amos stall and another one (lazy to check it out) next to it.

The smoking room here happen to illustrate how low cost the terminal is and how low smokers being treated here. Torn-out seats, no proper ventilation, dirty on the wall and floor...not sure whether it is poorly maintained or by-design. Smokers would probably think twice or perhaps for heavy one, it doesn't matter at all.

Flight to JB just being boarded and it leaves the terminal empty and not as noisy as it was. It also provided me with a new life (for my battery actually) as it was forced to hibernate while I'm chasing the level at Angry Birds. And by now, I've an hour to kill before flying back to KL...provided my flight is not delayed...

ONCE...hours to kill at KKIA

I'm telling you, it's not easy to kill off 4 hours at Terminal 2, KKIA. Nothing much exciting to do..well, what you can expect for low-cost terminal aye ? And why am I so not stupid arriving here 4 hours earlier ?

Well, I had to check-out at 1300 just now. It's quite heavy to carry my bag to Suria Sabah to catch KL Gangster or Green Lantern. What more to carry them to do some souvenir shopping ! Plus, I've done my souvenirs shopping last Feb.

It's kinda crowded in here. People waiting for their flights...flight delayed (AK5107 to KL was delayed for an hour), and I think these human sapien are for 3 different flights. And I'm the first one to check-in for my flight (based on the low-cost efficient paper-based system used by AirAsia).

Consider myself lucky to have a nice spot at Asian Delight Panettone..small table for two (one for my bags and one for me), facing the gate where I can see various type of people killing their time waiting..and see the coming or leaving planes (now it's empty)...just that I've close to 2 hours battery time and the nearest outlet was conquered by sleeping Ahso.

Let's talk about Departure Hall, Terminal 2 KKIA. It has 2 gates only; Gate 1 for Hote Seat and Gate 2 for General. There's Eraman duty free shop and Made in Sabah souvenir shop with Royal Selangor in it. There's also Exotic Leather House; handbag stall, jewelry (crystals and stuffs) stall and Asian Delight Panettone; the only cuisine shop. It has close to 250 benches with 60 seats at Asian Delight Panettone and ample space that can fit 100 people standing comfortably.

Guess, that's all for now..wanna hit Angry Birds to kill of some more hours...

ONCE...MCB

I went to MCB training on 27 - 28 May 2011. I know what it meant, why it was conducted in that manner and what do I suppose to get. Perhaps, the crowd play a role...or perhaps it depends on my heart's condition.

I understand the meaning...I understand the direction...I understand where to go...and I do understand how to go about it...

Does understanding alone enough ? Definitely not aye ? When to start ? Now is it ? So, what are you waiting for..?

ONCE...good thing about golf

Today, I found one thing good about golf. Not that this is the only one, but this one I discovered by myself. It's a game where you need to look deep in your wrong-doings, and finding ways to fix it...until you find it and fix it.

Sometimes, we do get frustrated when after so many attempts, we are still not able to fix it. Worst...when we do not have any idea on what went wrong (we thought we have done it all right), and how to fix it.

It also remind us that being human, we will forget, if it doesn't get into habit. Even once it becomes a habit, it's either a good one or a bad one.

However, when we do find the way...and it proves working and you fixed it...it really sweet. I treasure it alot this afternoon. Syukur...

ONCE...justifying business sense

Nowadays, it ain't easy to do sales. In MB, closing sales does not call for real celebration. The way we are measured, we have to follow thru till the end i.e. till project or contract closure. Sometimes, winning project give you more headache than pleasure.

Getting internal team to understand on why AM being so demanding is a tall order. I had one team telling me that my request does not bring lots of business sense for their investment. Out of curiosity, I'm wondering why do I have their team in play for that. Won't it be easier if I outsource the whole thing and manage it on my own ?

With such mentality exist in our organization, how can we excel and surpass all other competition ? It is the same like a golf swing. The rhythm of back-swing, weight transfer, down-swing and follow-thru..all has to be synchronize. If the body turn earlier than the time the clubhead reached the ball, you would have a terrible shot ! Hit it with the right foot, it'll go top and may just go few feet away.

To have a perfect shot, everything should be synchronized. Same here, mission statement was set but it was not ingrain in every soul within the organization.

The incident happen quite frequent to me and sometimes...I must say...it is really demoralizing.

ONCE...Workers Day 2011

It's been quite a long weekend. Quite a pack weekend though. On Sat, I was forced to participate in KTTM Bowling tournament. Last played was last year's MSRC's tournament. And as usual, I had to let my team members back me up for a better score hahahaha. We got 2nd for Invitational.

On Sun, I played for Monthly Medal at Impian Kajang. Morning started quite disturbing with my arms aching because of bowling, and my flight member shared that he do not want to play as they changed our flight members. Nevertheless, we had the same team and hit it to the green.

It started off not so bad..but I still had alot to do. Need to improve my drivers and maintaining my rhythm. What's most important, I am not the last anymore huhu..!!

And today, finishing off whatever pending about my work. Tomorrow, will start another interesting journey.

ONCE...am I losing it ?

It has been 4 months since I became full-time AM. The challenges are totally different. The need to be on top of things..coverage, understanding, so on and so forth. Time seems very short. Plus, balancing between my new hobby is quite challenging as well. Improving it, containing it..and of course, cherishing it.

Having new friends...bonding with them..sharing and caring. Knowing peoples behavior..identify and ways dealing with them. Dealing with losses and small victories. Hoping and looking forward when the time comes for my victory.

ONCE...quarter closing

Last Thu 31 Mar 2011, I had my first experience facing quarter closing. Looking for numbers to commit. Very challenging when you need to capture and ensuring all documents in order. It was bit late actually. But, Alhamdulillah, if all goes well..by Mon morning should reflect quite good.

Anyway, learnt good lessons. Now, I know how it all work..what is required..what need to be done..and when it need to be done. For this coming quarter, I would need to change my strategy a bit. After all, the shocking news on Fri 1 Apr may allow my strategy to goes well even though I may lost quite a lot.

For all its worth...will work towards a better closing coming Jun.

ONCE...who would know ? (once more..)

Almost a month...and I called it off. Either I've higher expectations, or no expectations, or demanding, or reluctant to entertain such attention demanded upon me...what have I become ? Am I at fault ? Am I selfish ?

Do I care about what people said to me ? Nope. Just like what my long-lost friend that prefer to remain that way, still blaming me after all these years. I'm not sure what I do wrong with her, but if that's the way she wanted it...doesn't require a bad fella like me to become her friend, so be it.

Enough with boring stories..last Friday I've got my 2nd PO !! huhu...seems like I got my POs every Friday..should I be looking forward for the coming Friday ? Work hard, play hard !!

O Allah, guide me please...

ONCE...my 1st PO

Fri 11 Feb 2011 (11022011), I got my first PO !!! At first I kinda puzzled to see a fax copy of my quotation on my table. At the back, was a letter with the customer's letterhead with summary of my quotation. I thought '..is this a PO or what ?'. I looked for its reference and it written 'PO Ref No:..' !

I showed it to my boss, my director and closed friends. Now only I'm feeling like a real AM ! Even though the amount is not that big, am hoping for more POs to come with bigger values of course.

Thank you God..syukur Alhamdulillah...

ONCE...who would know ?

Last Thu, I went to my best friend's house for a so-called house warming. Turnout there's different agenda ! At first, I kinda reluctant..told him that but since he insisted, I just went to get myself a free lunch.

Turned out..not as bad as I expected. In fact, I'm not quite sure what is happening to me now. Kinda keep thinking..looking forward..but still unsure whether I'm really up for it or not. Someone dear to me is having mixed feeling about all this. Whether all the bad experiences made the circumstances as such, or some feelings left untold or unsure.

Is it happening too fast ? Am I kinda needed one ? Or Allah has His own way of showing me the path ? O Allah...I'm leaving it all to You as You are The All Knowing of everything.

ONCE...cabaran 2011

Permulaan 2011 agak menarik...gear 1 yg terlalu lama pada penghujung 2010 dan sukar untuk dinaikkan ke gear 2...namun, pada 2011 expectations and reality seems to move very fast..suddenly, my gear is already on 4 !!! already speeding up...things run very fast that I wish, I've more time in this world..

With that, I've got myself the P1 WIMAX and so far it works well...it gave myself some added hours to get things done, checking stuffs, etc...i just need to workout on the distraction i'm getting...really need to work my ass out for it..

all in all, it has good start...hope for it to be forever, but as always...plan for the worse, hope for the best !

ONCE...closing 2010

It has been a very colorful year..2010 it is. Lots of memorable events took place..challenging experiences..fruitful and painful memories. This year, I'm exposed to lots of stuffs..losing and bonding, losses and discoveries..lemme try to summarize it all..

Quarter 1 2010

- life: found, lost, found again

- work: trusted, troubled, smoothen

Quarter 2 2010

- life: cherished, lost, new environments and cultures, strengthen bonding

- work: work-life bonding, exciting experiences, painful outcome

Quarter 3 2010

- life: soul-searching, improving ties, moving on

- work: soul-searching, reclaimed myself, new challenges

Quarter 4 2010

- life: perished, bonding both loved ones and doubtful

- work: gearing up, new challenges again, troubled and inspiring, new frontier

All in all, 2010 shared to many experiences..losing people that i love, found new people to love and share, creating new bondings, strengthening long lost bondings, new challenges and experiences. When I thought I've seen enough, 2010 showed me that there are lot more that I haven't seen. And even too many that I've seen in 2010, I believed that there are still more to discover.

2011 looks promising..can see the blink of lights at the end of the tunnel..after all, coming 2011, it's really up to me to chart it forward. Eager and aggressive, I may redeem the rewards. Laid back and lazy, I shall face the consequences. No holding back for me in 2011...and I have to grab this opportunity, work my ass off for both my work and life related stuffs...and ensuring that I will be able to take home the bread.

"O Allah, I thanked you for all the love, challenges and experiences You gave me in 2010. Help me Allah, for a better life and future in 2011, and years ahead. Amin."

ONCE...33

hari ini..alhamdulillah..meningkat lagi usia aku..sambutan seorangan huhu...but i'm glad having my closed friends with me...mudah2an usia yg bertambah turut menambah perubahan kearah kebaikan dalam hidup aku...

ONCE...ketentuan

Aku tertengok TV3..ulangan cerekarama 'Ketentuan'. Tiba2 sayu hati aku bila tgk cite ni..bergenang airmataku..

Asalnya aku nak coretkan kisah yang berlaku pada aku semalam. Air muka aku jatuh, malu yang tak tertanggung pada seorang sahabat. Dah lebih 12 tahun aku kawan ngan dia..dh macam2 yang aku lalui ngan dia. Tapi kerana niat aku utk menolong seseorang, orang itu jugak yang mencampakkan najis ke muka aku. Tanpa rasa simpati..tanpa rasa setiakawan..tanpa rasa bersalah..

Walaupun aku pernah sedar perangai dia yg hanya pentingkan diri sendiri..cume aku tak sangka yang dia berfikiran singkat seperti ini..buat aku tertanya2 macam mana aku pernah sayang dia satu ketika dulu..mungkin Allah sayangkan aku dan membuka mata aku luas2 agar nampak segala kebatilan dan hikmah yang tersembunyi..

Ketika ini, aku masih belum mampu utk menghubungi sahabat aku untuk memohon maaf..aku tak tau mana nak letak muka ini..tak tau mana nak letak diri ini untuk berdepan dgn dia..aku harap satu hari nanti dia sudi maafkan aku dan anggap ini hanyalah satu sejarah hitam yang takkan berulang lagi..

Untuk org itu..aku tak tau sampai bila dia akan terus menghina aku...sementelah hinaannya bisa membuatkan dia bahagia...tika ini, cukup saja aku berdiam dan anggap dia tidak wujud...kerana jika aku berbicara, mungkin terlalu bisa untuk dia terima...aku harap jangan sampai dia buat aku maki dia hatta di depan khalayak ramai sekalipun...i dun like seeing the evil in me busting out in the open..

ONCE...back to the jungle

setelah hampir 8 tahun aku tak menjejakkan kaki kehutan di Malaysia ini..satu ketika aku pantas mendaki gunung, meredah hutan, membelah lautan dgn kayak..lama benar kutinggalkan aktiviti2 itu..

canopy walk di tmn negara

pada 1 okt lepas, aku tiba dia rainforest resort di kuala tahan..dan keesokannya aku ditelan hutan taman negara..segarnya bau hutan..nyamannya suasana sungai dan percikan air di jeram..mengimbau kenangan lalu..melupakan aku sejenak pada kota yang kadangkala membawa derita..

aku bersyukur kerana masih lagi berkudrat untuk mendaki bukit..menyusuri lembah..melengkari akar pokok yg membatangi denai..meredah arus dgn ilmu renang yg baru setahun jagung..namun, aku masih hanyut..hanyut dalam arus dunia..kuharap temui semula dahan yg utuh untuk aku berpaut semula..untuk mengharungi arus dunia yang begitu mencabar...

ONCE...apa perlu aku rasa ?

September ini banyak kenangan...kenangan manis dan pahit. Aku membuat satu perkara yg tak pernah aku lakukan sebelum ini...dan kenapa aku melakukannya, entah. Tiada terpasang niat sebetulnya..hanya membuat mengikut rasa tanpa berfikir panjang akan akibat dan natijahnya.

Sept ini menemukan aku kembali dgn rakan karibku yg telah lama tidak kutemui..dan seorang yg telah lama menjauhkan diri. Walaupun belum lagi semesra dahulu, mudah2an ianya akan kembali seperti dulu.

Aku harungi persahabatan baru..tidaklah baru sangat pun cume baru rapat lebih dari dulu. Namun, sementelah persahabatan itu disalahertikan. Sepertinya aku ingin membunuh satu persahabatan yang telah terbina lebih sedekad. Sepertinya aku menikam rakan dari belakang seakan mengambil kesempatan atas kesempitan.

Aku juga mengharungi kehilangan. Rayaku tahun ini bersama anak2 teranjak ke pertengahan raya. Dan aku hilang Tok Ngah Jabek..insan yang cukup mulia dan mesra. Teringat tiap kali dia memanggil aku 'comel'. Hampir semua dipanggilnya begitu. Tatkala merenung jenazah yg redup dan tersenyum, aku tenang. Namun, tika mukanya ditutup kembali, hatiku hiba dan sebak. Pandangan Yasinku kabur, suaraku tersekat2, airmataku berlinangan. Terkilan benar kerana raya ini begitu bentuknya aku menziarahi beliau. Terkilan kerana beberapa kali hasratku untuk singgah beraya tidak kesampaian. Terkilan kerana jika kuturutkan jua untuk singgah, pastinya aku tau beliau sedang sakit. Pastinya aku tau ketika beliau terlantar dihospital. Pastinya aku isi masaku menziarahi beliau dan mungkin masaku kurang dengan persahabatan baru tersebut.

Dan kini aku kehilangan beliau. Dan apa mungkin aku jua bakal hilang persahabatan baru tersebut. Apa mungkin takdirNya aku hanya perlu hidup begini...seorang diri...

ONCE...sept kembali lagi...

sept kembali lagi...mengimbau seribu satu kenangan...tertakluknya tarikh penutup dan juga tarikh pembuka lembaran baru...seakan sept ini sentiasa menjadi pembuka dan penutup sejak beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini. apakah sept ini bakal membuka satu lagi lembaran baru untukku ?

pengalaman lalu membuatkan aku serik. serik utk dikecewakan...serik utk dihina...serik utk memujuk hati dan membina diri. alhamdulillah, aku cukup tenang kini. bagaimana ? kadang2, aku pun tak mengerti...payah utk aku menjawab soalan2 begitu. kurendamkan hidupku dgn aktiviti2 yang menyihatkan...sekian lama aku tak bermain badminton dan kini aku kembali melibaskan reketku yang telah tersimpan sejak 2006. keasyikan sukan baru sedikit demi sedikit menuntut ruang waktu untuk diisi.

kerjaku kini turut mencabar. apabila kebebasan diberikan, aku rasa tepu untuk memastikan ianya tidak disalahgunakan...tepu untuk memastikan aku punya sesuatu untuk ditawarkan...tepu juga apabila kehendak dan tanggapan yang bercanggah dari rakan2 tentang apa yang diharapkan dariku. kembalinya rakan2 dari jauh, mengubat kerinduan dan mengisi kekosongan masa. walaupun kekangan lain membuatkan aku kurang selesa dilokasi, namun aku pasrah.

apakah sept ini bakal membuatkan ceritaku seperti cerita adam ? yang menyatakan pada liyana "...buat apa berjumpa kalau untuk berpisah kan ?" namun, penghujungnya mereka bahagia bersama. atau cerita sufi atau ean ?

bisikku pada bulan...kembalikan. temanku, kekasihku, syurgaku. tanpa dia, kelam menemaniku..sepi memelukku.

bulan...jangan biar siang. biar alam ini kelam. biar ia sepi...sepertiku.

mak bi pula berkata "..kadang2, orang yang paling kita sayang la yang susah untuk disayangi.." manakala ris "...to love is to let go.."

apakah yang bakal menantiku sept ini...?