ONCE...am 30 !

Alhamdulillah...am 30 as of yesterday. It shall be a new beginning for me. For a better me. Not only me as a PM, an employee, a crazy-part-timer and a friend...but more importantly me as a husband, father and son. And of course, as His servant.

One thing for sure, I don't have my normal 5 years plan now. What do I wanna be ? Where do I wanna go ? What do I chase for ? What do I target to ? What do I aim at ? Where am I heading ? For whom does all these to ?

Serious thinking need to be done. Soul searching ? Perhaps. 'Please ya Allah...guide me in my quest...amin'

p/s: Thank you dear for organizing the suprise this morning :D Beautiful indeed... luv ya !

ONCE...my new PC !!!

Finally ! I've received my new PC set, optimized for gaming & multimedia purposes. Lemme share the specs with y'll :

• Intel E2140 1.60 GHz
• 3 GB DDR2 RAM
• 160 GB SATA HDD
• NVidia GeForce 8500 GT
• Logitech Mouse & Keyboard
• VS2141 Altec Lansing
• 20" Samsung SyncMaster 203B

Thanks to Lan, I just spend RM2.5k at Imbi. Otherwise, I'd be spending close to RM 3k plus. Thanks Man. Now...just installed Empire Earth..but gotta reboot cause of those Windows update thingy. Later, will install the WoW (but I dunno whether I'd be able to have a feel to try it out tonite...) ... we'll see ;-)

ONCE...scenery photos (with technology)

Just playing around with MS Office Picture Manager. One cool feature that it has is you can compress the picture for document or for web (as I did for previous post). It reduces the size superbly and still maintain the quality (at least from my naked eyes). And just found another cool features (but may not applicable to all); Auto Correct. It automatically correct the pictures that I load. Some gave superb results (as showed below and you can compare with the previous post), but some really out (dun wanna waste my time posting crap here).

ONCE...scenery photos

During raya at Kedah, somehow I found the skies was so beautiful. Excited with the new camera that my wife bought, I put my hidden talent in action. (Put off earlier to put it here because I would need to find a place to store the pictures, only to find out that Blogger has cool features that allows you to upload the pictures on the post immediately. Cool haa !)

ONCE...it has been 2 years !!!

I just realized that it has been 2 years and 27 days this blog has been active ! Started on the 4th Oct 2005 (on Ramadhan's eve..missed the terawih at the mosque), and today is already 20th of Syawal.

Time flies by...so fast. Sherman shared with me last Friday that he felt as if just yesterday was 2006 (or does he said 1996). That's how fast time flies. And in 11 days, my numbers will change. Hmmm...hope, am for the better (O Allah, please guide me...amin).

ONCE...back on gaming !

As part of my role in looking after the game project in TeAM, I need to be updated with the trend and technology. They gaved me World of Warcraft to research on. It is the best MMORPG in the world currently. I'm very excited !!!

But first, I need to get myself a proper game PC. The specs shall be able to support multimedia design and game programming as well. Am planning to explore on that area, really exciting. This peoples work on the design is superb. Am really impressed and I can visualize the story being played. Can't wait to see it happening.

I got some specs from Subang Parade. Then, asked Mun's advice (as he's an avid gamers as well) on the specs & price...also seeked Lan's advice. Lan told me not to buy any but rather follow him to IMBI where he'll advice on the best of all items (bits and pieces) , that will suit my objectives beautifully. Budgetted around RM 3k. Planned to sort those out by this weekend.

Can't wait to start exploring hehehe...will install all my long-lost games in there as well. Anyway, I'll try my utmost best to discipline myself in this game-research-work thing. Am afraid myself on how addicted (and crazy) I'm back then...

ONCE...work is great (?)

Had my review session with my boss last week. All went well. I know the fact that some colleague were asking the partner on what's happening with the project. Indicating that the project was not progressed at all, and asked them to push me to get it move.

Kinda funny because they're not involved in the project. Am still can't digest why they did that. And this afternoon, we're discussing on contract terms and target for signing next week. Then, we chat. All of the sudden, he came ! And start giving his lame excuse of his not important thus the partner don't wanna see him, only wanna see the PM. Following that, he start asking me about the status of the project. In his serious face ! What ? Do I report to you ?!!

Anyway, being polite...I shared the status. Everything is fine, works in progress, etc. Then, he start asking the partner about some pricing cos he needs to see where he can pull the budget from and stuff like that. I just let it be as I'm doing all those. If he wanna do it (or are doing it now), unless he updates me, I won't bother to act on it. It shall be under PM's hands and it's in good hand. Customer are fully aware of where we are and where we are heading.

I do feel bored with this shitty politics, wanna show that somebody is really doing the work..or rather (as he usually quote to me) "seing" doing the work, "seing" busy. I believed more in results. Of course efforts means alot as well, but you just do your work as you supposed to. Whether people sees it or not, I couldn't care less. As long as am happy doing the work, customer is happy, management is happy with the progress and end results...all those #$&%@ (whatever name/title it is for such attitude) can just GO TO hmm...wherever best for them ;-)

ONCE...my daughter fold...

Last Friday, I picked up my wife & kids at my in-law's house. It's quite late, my wife & son slept already. My daughter still active running ups and downs. My wife asked her to pack and clean all the mess that she made (kinda being scold as well as she has asked her to do it for quite some time).

What amazed me (and made me proud :D) was, she folded her clothes ! Not only that, her brother's as well. Surely my wife guided her well. I'm blessed :D

ONCE...me on EL ?

My PT shared with me last nite, that last Friday, my boss asked her why I took EL. I'm not sure whether she's angry or worried. After I analyze further, then I think I know why she's like that.

I'm not the type that like to take leave for nothing. Normally, with very solid reason. Last Friday, I took EL without telling why. And a day before that, this happen and perhaps she thought that I took it really bad (or thinking that am looking for jobs ? hehehe). To make it worst, I didn't see her this week. Perhaps, a note for Selamat Hari Raya to her today...and hope all is fine when she come back to work.

ONCE...raya datang lagi...

Lagi 2 hari nak raya. Aku ucapkan selamat hari raya dan maaf zahir batin atas keceluparan kata, keterlanjuran perbuatan dan apa jua yg menyinggung hati dan perasaan, serta halalkan makan minum lihat cuit dengar rasa.

Semoga semua bergumbira di hari lebaran, baik di Malaysia mahupun yg diluar sana (Joe, ko balik ke tak ?). Berhati-hati dijalan raya...dan semoga berjumpa lagi.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA !!!

ONCE...hebatnya dugaan (day of great challenges) #2

So, my boss asked me to email her, telling the whole truth about what happen and the hindsight. She'll take it from there. To my disappointment further went I traced the system...my last submission was at 11.18 *sigh*. Well, I did admit my mistakes right...that's just another strong prove of that.

It's almost 3 when we finished. I went for my meeting. Just realized as I preparing this post, there's another disappointment while waiting for the team members to start the meeting. I arrived 5 minutes before the meeting, setup projector, slides, etc. First person came at 3.05. OK not that bad. The rest..? I have to called each one of them reminding about the meeting and asking whether they're coming or not. To me like...WTF ?!!! Why don't they just be aware of their meeting, when and where ?! Why does it everytime we need to call and remind ?! Ergh !!!!

My meeting started 20 minutes late. It went well I must say. Conclude an hour later. I wanna rush to Dynasty Hotel to get a copy of the floor plan from LP. But, Dr Sulaiman told me that he's already on his way to Putrajaya and he forgotted to leave the copy at Dynasty. I told him I'll collect it at Putrajaya the next day. Settled !

4.45 I've packed, prayed and moved out from office. Need to rush to Darby Park for TeAM's meeting, where I will present the game plan for NGEP. Federal highway jammed like normal. I believed my fuel can still last me at least until Petronas Bangsar. However, right in-front of EPF, my car died. Tried to restart but failed as well. So, I used all my power to push the car to the side (forgot: my car was at the fast lane). Heavy man ! Suddenly it became very light and easy, someone assisted me at the back (thanks man !). Me being engine-no-expert guy, dunno what to do. Called Lan to ask him any ideas on what could be wrong ? Lastly, I decided, leave the car (it was packed in-front till MidVally and back which I dunno where it might started) and go to Darby Park in public transport.

I believed it's be hell to get a taxi at that time. Saw RapidKL bus to CM (yeay !!!). As I line-up, then I realized that I only have RM 50 notes (arghh !!!). I frozed, so I let the guy behind me to go first. Coins also not enough. Then I realized my TnGo and it can be used in the bus !!! Really a convenience TnGo I must say.

LRT to Ampang Park, it was 6.30 by then. I settled my Citibank first, and am lucky that Alliance Bank was just in the neighbourhood as well. So 2 done ! 2 to go ! Arrived at Cradle's office at 6.45. Meeting started, no problem :D until 8.30. Johan shared with me normally the authority will tow the car. Obsructing traffic. And I didn't leave my number on the dashboard ! I wanna pray to Him but somehow kinda ashamed. But, had to pray and asked His assistance. No choice what !

My presentation started at 8.45, went well. Matt shared an idea on the insentive. Johan asked about conflict of interest. Can't be declared internally, but I'll do the work after office hours. Then Chris told me, "come and work for me lah...and you can do NGEP full time". "And still get the pay ?" I asked. "That can be arranged" he replied. Hehehe...what a generous offer. I thanked everybody for that, and shared what happened to me in the office and finally being offered like that, I'm very flattered and it does make my day.

And I thought Chris was joking. After the meeting, while waiting for Lan to fetch me, I had a drink with Chris & Dr Siva. And they all kinda started selling about the co to me. I never think of moving from MB and looking at all the MB's outfits that I've and planning to buy, MB in my heart man. Anyway, out of politeness, I said I'll think about it. Just nice after that, Lan arrived.

Thank God ! At 10.30 pm my car was still there hehehe ! He called his bro-in-law. Oh..my battery died as well because hazard light took lots of power. Waited for the battery, pomen coming. Few tontos were waiting at the bus stop trying to get some business from me. When the battery came, I thought "yes !" but instead "oh no..!". The car can't be started. While the pomen trying here and there, Lan arrived with RM 4 petrol. Put it in, still can't start. So, I went with Lan to get more petrol..and with various type of bottles, manage to get RM 8 petrol. Put it in, start then chaos. I asked why ? The pomen didn't manage to secure himself (tak sempat) from the fuel coming from the engine. Lucky didn't hit his eyes. Put everything in place back...and my engine roamed again :D. Alhamdulillah ! The moral of the story was, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CAR WITH EMPTY FUEL...REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE INDICATOR SAYS !

Pack everything, then went for a drink with the team. Thank you guys, really appreciate all the help. Arrived home at 4 am and shared everything with my wife during sahur. Really challenging ! My patience was tested to the fullest ! My faith was tested as well ! But at the end, I really really thankful to Him for all the tests and results because every test is to bring us to the next level. He will not test you unless you're capable of handling it !

ONCE...hebatnya dugaan (day of great challenges) #1

4th Oct was full of colors for me. From morning till night. My fuel level is quite alarming already, but to maintain my reputation of being at least 5 minutes early for my meeting, I decided to refuel at Putrajaya. Went to office just to print the EOT letter.

Arrived as planned (with good parking spot as well). Then, I saw all the team members at the lobby. Waiting for their transport ?! They're going for site visit to tenderers' premises for ISP tender. I don't feel good already because they didn't inform me. The meeting might be cancelled and I may not have to rush. However, they said PD is in the office. I went up and aeida mentioned that PD is in a meeting. But his PA told me that PD asked me to wait for him.

So oklah, I waited till 10.30. Just the 2 of us ! It was very cordial..he joked, we laughed..he even "aku-kau" with me. Kinda strange for a person who used to be very hard on me in the beginning. Anyway, meeting went well. Objectives achieved; finalized the DB design so can start create the DB next week, and signed the EOT letter indicating agreement to extend the handover date. I felt good ! Mission accomplished !

This started went wrong after that. Back in the office at noon, got respond from my GM disapproving my request for ITSQB training. Eventhough my justification is for the good of company (and the nation), and that our internal SW Dev team dees not have influencing and authority level over the Koreans, he does not agree with me. Asked me to withdraw !

As I'm speculating on how to respond (believe me..it sounded very nasty), my boss called to see me. It's about the ISP tender, "all fingers are point at us", she said. I admitted that it's all my fault and I'm very aware of why it happened that day. But to maintain my relationship with Jai (yeah...the typical malay side of me..shoot !), I don't want to disclose that. I'm being over-confident, perfectionist and ego (perhaps), I didn't asked his help to speed up the process. My assumption (yeah..yeah..I know !) was since we're kinda winning tean in ICMS, we should have same understanding already. But, my alter ego who don't want to question me, caused me dearly.

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ONCE...22nd day of Ramadhan

7 more nights to go before we all break fast with joy with the coming Aidil Fitri. This should be the time where we increase our prayers, spend more time at night performing qiamullail searching for the wonderful night of Lailatul Qadar. That is what we should all do, spiritually.

It's also a trend here that this is the time where lots of break fast invitation packing up. I used to look forward for those, but not anymore. Reason being:

1. I don't eat that much now
2. With little food also I tend to gain weight, what more lots of them (with all those dessert ?!! man !)
3. There's not much bonding or rapport building to be created perse. People just concentrate eating !
4. Me become a bit anti-social (?)
5. Somehow, my marketing pitch and eagerness has lessen (?)
6. The place is too far :D

However, some invitations are very difficult to turn down. Some was initiated by me :D. Anyway, first Ramadhan in MB brings lots of memories to me. One thing that I really missed being a CTO once, the luxury of time that I can manage and own. Well, beggers can't be choosers aye ;-).

ONCE...not good !

Last week was the most intense moment in my work life in MB. I've a DB review with MOHE on 12th Sept, then 13th Sept tender due for MOHE ISP implementation and kickoff meeting on 14th Sept (my baby project). The tender is huge and I estimated our unit's cost alone would be around RM 2m. And since I've did kinda the same thing (and won as well) for LP, am kinda very confident that I can do it after the DB review.

I started at 10.30 pm at the office (after terawih). Based on what I know what to do, I am very confident that I can deliver everything by 6 am or 8 am the most. But then, I was loaded with all SOW from various solution components to be incorporated in my Implementation Strategy document. The worst part of it, not all was there. One still in PDF format, one in different document and another is totally wrong version. To make it worst, not all are following our standard document formatting.

So, still looking up on me, I just do it. Believing that I can still pull this all together. Just conclude all the SOW after sahur (that 1 hour plus break don't really help at all). Had to head home to send the kids & wife, then be back at the office at 8 am on 13th Sept. Man, am telling you...how I survive driving from SA to office. Prayed hard actually.

Well, it's first day of Puasa. No caffeine available. And that really hit hard on me. As I'm concentrating on the doc, I realized that I dozed off unintentionally. My schedule is only ready by 10 am. Then, compliance tables, then pricing etc. Din leaved me around 11 am with all info gathered. I was relieved, believing that I've did it again. Jai slept after sahur till around 9 something.

I moved back to my place. To drive home, am scared. Afraid can't make it, so I went to Zam's place and take a nap there (for 2 hours :D). Then, I started looking at my slides, get everything prepared for the kickoff; get the projector, prepare the handouts, rehearse the presentation. And then Sales Director asked me to brief on the location and agenda. So I went up to spare some time with her. After all that only I head home.

Aiyah..forgot ! The main point of this post; after I woke up, I called Din to see how it goes. We were late :(. The officer still took the docs, but stamp as late. Not sure whether it'll be considered or not. I felt bad already.

That night the whole family went to the mosque. I can't survive till the end, so after 8th I came down (thought that my wife would think the same, but no). So, I slept in the car. Around 10 pm Man called asking about the preparation for the kickoff. I told him what has been prepared so he's assured that everything are in order. Then he asked me, "..what happen ah ? Ko tertido eh ?" I've decided in the afternoon that even though other parties may also contribute to this, but I just take all the blame lah. So, I explained to him that it's alot of things to be done, with some not according to the format, and no caffeine made me dozed off unintentionally which damage the whole thing. I apologized to him.

What surprised me again was on Monday (17th), Murn asked me what happened ? Then I know that words has spread. Dunno who la. I told her the same stuff that I told Man. And she said that Man didn't mention that we were late to Zue. Hmm...would really spoilt my reputation with Zue (i think) because the kickoff was very good. She even congratulate me (err..not sure for what) and wish me good luck with the project.

So now, with LP, I'll be locked there for 2 years. Just need to finish off MOHE by Oct, and SCOPE before end of the year, am sure there would be no more tender exercise for me. *sigh* Nevertheless, I am strong believer of things happen for a reason. Allah knew what best for me and how to give that lessons to me. And I thank Him for that..syukur alhamdulillah.

ONCE...my own broadband !

Yeehoo !!! Got my streamyx connected today !!! 1.5 mbps gua cakap lu heheheh. It's all done in one week (kudos to Telekom..i must say..). Register for my phone line and streamyx on Tuesday, phone connected on Wed (activated on Thu morning though) and my streamyx activated today !

Now I can update my blog more often :D...post my work from home, maintain TeAM website and other R&D stuffs...all from the comfort of my home. Anyway, the cable is a bit short, can pull it to my study room yet. Gotta buy longer cable (today!).

To add to this whole madness, I just arrived home at 4.30 just now. Immediately perform my prayers followed with sahur. And then, here I am. Thinking of catchingup with my sleep afterwards, but my wife bising since I don't want to sleep first but eagerly wanna be connected. Hope I'll survive for shopping later.

ONCE...life is great !

It's coming to 9th month for me in MB. It's wonderful now because the project that I've been waiting for has come. Started early this month. And to make it even sweeter (or some said "worst!"), was assigned on one so-called "simple" project a week before my baby project came.

The project that I'm currently managing is coming to an end. However, the ministry issued one big tender where the outcome from my project will be the core component in that tender. So, I was roped in to assist (provide necessary info). Before I know it (hmm...kinda expected it as well...or rather wants it hehehe), I was assigned to work on the tender proposal.

Coming fasting month, planning to put in internet connection so that I can work from home. There'll be less (if not none) activity at night (means, my normal activities), so have to carik pahala lebih this month. Am really thankful to be part of MB...for both the good and the bad.

ONCE...turning 6th...

It's our 6th anniversary today ! Didn't realized it's that long already. Of course there's highs and lows, sweet and sours...but we're still heading strong. Some people say, first 3 years for you to know your partner better. Some says, great challenges will come every 6 years. Dunno whether it's true or not. But of course challenges do come. As and when they like. So it's really up to us to use our knowledge, experienes and wisdom to best handle it.

So honey, Happy Anniversary :D !

ONCE...moved officially (really one !)

I would say, yesterday really official that we moved to our new house. Everything brought in already, my wife done with our room, me done with my study room, kitchen all ok, hall, dining and all. Can say it's a home now :-).

On Saturday, we bought few furnitures. By noon I'm home to allow the guys to repair our doors. Only after 6 hours of working they came and told me that the door was wrong ?! It's bigger...so need to wait for few more weeks. As for me, am dying sleepy and really can dozed-off easily but then, who would monitor them ? So I've no choice but to watch the vcd. And when the furnitures are in, my rocking chair really rocks !!!

The kids loves their room, my wife love it as well...and I love them all.

ONCE...moved !!!

Still tired, but relief. Yesterday load almost all things from PA and unload at SA. My wife arrived at 9pm...she brought some food and surprisingly (despite my diet conscious) I managed to finished it all. She was also surprised. We went back at 12 midnight, few curtains was up just that the sliding's curtains was a bit odd. The owner put a half-circle thingy on top of the sliding and the curtain reel was on top of it. So the sliding curtain was like hanging, need to look for colorful shades to block the bottom part of it.

When we arrived at in-laws house, felt very tired. But Bruce was on TV !!! Armageddon on air !!! Took a shower in the middle, and fight my eyes till it finished. Then, I woke up at 12 noon. Whole body is aching, my head was heavy. Went out to buy stuffs at 1 something, spent about 2 hours shopping...the longest I've ever spent on shopping (as far as I can remember laa). Arrived at our new house around 4. Start unpacking, so kitchen now ok. Cleaned up the back area, garden, my room, hall and dining. I wanted to stay there already, but as mom-in-law not around so kinda not nice. So, we'll be staying for a while at in-laws, maybe Wed or Thu officially move in to our new house...and start living there.

For now, I haven't look at the cashflow impact yet (monthly), to be added with broadband and astro (and dunno what else..yet..). Whatever it is...it's turning point I believe. Thank GOD :D.

ONCE...moving house

Finally (thank God) we managed to find a nice house in SA, near to my daughter's school, easy access to highway and nearer to my wife's bus stop. I'll have my study room that I can really utilized (I do have one in PA..but since PA is more like our retreat, and the TV is just outside of the room..not really helpful am telling ya), lower ground and it'll be far from TV and bed, am sure that I can study (for my PMP) and do my readings or work peacefully. Near to kitchen so I can refresh my coffee as and when I like.

My kids are excited, so does my wife and of course meself. But definitely I need to make some adjustments. Can't stay back more than 6 pm at the office (can come back at 9 if need to...especially if I don't have internet access at home). External activites will need to be adjusted as well.

Nevertheless, I hope and pray that this move (hijrah) will bring better life to all of us.